When We All Fall Asleep

Chapter 19 - Football Training

After an hour-long breakfast already eaten, Billie, Mom, Amy and I went into the living room where we used to (without Amy) talk as a family. Billie and I were sitting in the lounge chairs while Mom and Amy were on the couch. My mother had a cup of hot coffee in her hands, legs crossed on top of the couch, showing off her sweatpants in a way. It was cold, but not that much. She made up an excuse to drink more coffee saying it was in "celebration form" (my mother loves coffee).

Elizabeth and Amy told their stories of what it was like to live at the clinic throughout this period, something like a Kidnapper, another crazy story from my mother about the crazy woman who shared the cell (even though I knew the correct word was "room ") with her... suspenseful story that I never imagined would be told based on real facts. That was more frightening.

I hadn't said anything, nothing had happened in my life since then, but Billie told her about everything that happened to her. The nightmares, that she had seen her father (that she had never told me), of her psychologist's suicide...

"Yeah, I saw it on the news back there last day," my mom said, trying hard not to start crying. Billie walked over to her and sat down next to her so she could hug her and Amy excused herself from where Billie was.

"I'm sorry for both of you," Amy said sadly, then looked at me. "You too, Mike."

I smiled crookedly but didn't want to say anything. It wasn't the right time.

Moments passed and no one else wanted to talk about it since Mom said something like "We're never talking about this type of subject again, because, in addition to causing us sadness, it's not healthy to remember this kind of thing." I agree? I'm not sure, but if my mom told me... that's fine. Respect.

My mom stared at me the entire time as I told the story about my friends visiting me days before. She was so angry with Darryl that I couldn't even understand if she wanted to get rid of him for good or if she wanted to get rid of him, however, causing suffering. It was confusing, something that made me laugh at least or a little, and so did everyone else, taking that tense mood out of the air.

Talk goes, talk comes ... I remembered something I shouldn't have forgotten right after I told Darryl's story. He had a soccer practice today, at noon. I looked at the time on the hand clock in the living room, it was still showing 11:00, that is, there wasn't much time until I got dressed (bathed, brushed my teeth, put on my uniform...) and headed towards the court. I was super late when I got up quickly from my chair and announced to everyone that...

"Look, guys, you'll forgive me, especially you, Mom, but today I have a... well, soccer practice, you know, so... I really can't miss it. Today is ratings day."

Everyone stopped talking to face me. Amy squinted at Elizabeth.

"Oh, well," said my mother uncomfortably, "it's all right, darling. If it's that important..."

"Thanks, Mom." I hugged her and then, as I started to walk towards the stairs, she interrupted me.

"Hang on!" I stopped walking right away when she raised her index finger to me and then rose from the couch, crossing her arms. "Who is going to be there?"

I already knew what she intended to do.

"Who... How so?" I said, trying not to sound fake.

"You know what I mean. Who is going to be there?"

"Look, Mom, think about it, I..."

"Darryl Wilson will be there?"

I was really trying to say no, but that piercing look she gave me made me shiver. Her eyes, my God, she was ready to kill.