A Beautiful Saviour

Chapter Fifteen

He awoke in a rage. A thunderous rage. He had been in battle and that was all he could remember; the blood, the flesh, the pain of biting , scratching and cutting. He could hear the cries of everyone around and he flexed his claws and made to move forward before he realised his claws were retracted, only normal length fingernails were on his hands. He couldn’t walk forward because he was lied down and to top it all off  - his hair was humanlike all over his body not the knives that battle required and his feet felt cool. If he was in battle his feet were meant to be covered in blood from walking in it and that certainly was not a ‘cool’ feeling.

                He opened his eyes properly to notice the sky was clouded and a few birds were flying overhead. The more he puzzled at the scene his eyes were seeing, the more the noise of battle died down; the sounds of war screams seemed to become more distant until they sounded like that from a memory. Salt air made the smell around him fresh and crisp. It held a cleanliness in the air that on the battlefield would be the opposite – it should be stuffy, overpowering and very very dirty. Which obviously meant that he wasn’t on a battlefield. So was he dead? He hoped so, then he wouldn’t think about Els-, oh, he couldn’t be dead. It wouldn’t hurt as much inside if he were dead.

                Scrunching up his face he screamed into the night in more anguish. A tickle on his shin made him stop and sit up abruptly. He was by the beach. Still confused he was tempted to try and pull a crab from the water as was his usual routine but there was no one around. He wasn’t in training. How had he got off the battlefield and how long had he been here? If he’d lied on the sandy beach through the day then why had not the sun burned him alive? Then it clicked. The only thing that would leave him so confused and made sense was if part of his family had sent him to sleep. But he had no family left… Perttu.

                He was furious! He had acknowledged Perttu as a brother years ago, that had no doubt sealed a bound between then, they had become brothers in the eyes of magic and Perttu now had a hold over him. Before he had even thought through the consequences in his own mind he went over to a tree and took hold of it’s trunk to rip it from its root with his bare hands as an outlet for his anger. A branch fell from its lofty perch and hit Joseph on the head and the sudden impact of what he was doing slammed into him. He was angry at a man who had saved his life and vice versa so often in the past. Perttu had taken him under his wing, always been there for him and Joseph was repaying that with an act of violence that could quite easily have been Perttu had he been stood where the tree was. What was happening to him? Why was he so angry?

                More despair rained down on him and he sank to his knees, replacing the tree back into the ground and letting fall a single tear of blood. It was one thing to be angry at the world but he was hurting people. If Perttu had been there last night then he had witnessed him becoming a machine of slaughter. He had been a beast last night and if Perttu had saved him from more sins he owed his cousin much much more than getting angry at an act of love. Love, he would never have that. He was about to be lost to everything but slowly he heard a voice in his mind. A reiteration from last night and he knew Perttu had taken control of him. Now he heard his brother’s voice in his head. The next bit must be your own choice. Wake and make me proud. Don’t let me regret calling you my brother. Come back to us Joseph. I cannot give you your mate but I can make the world that little less harsh.

                Make him proud. Don’t make him regret calling him brother. Looking at his actions Joseph knew it would be a miracle he hadn’t already let Perttu down. But how could he make it right? What could he do now?

*

“How’s the kids?”

“Ah they’re doing alright. I can’t believe how quickly they grow; they need new clothes every few week. Lily loves it because she gets a new dress out of me as well.”

“Ah, women, they always know how to twist us round their little fingers.”

“Yep, especially Lily, she just has to tell how many hours she was in labour for – the grand total for all four kids – then says I owe her!”

“You did get her pregnant.”

“Hey, it does take two you know! My bank balance shouldn’t suffer for that!”

                The sorcerers that had gathered around Perttu were laughing at his predicament, all eager to know what his little province was like. He commanded a lot of people himself and not one of them had fought in the new wars. They had been scouting instead, trying to gain information about the war but as far as anyone could tell they were a chaotic mess. There was something else though. Something that Perttu couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“Perttu? Where is lily?” Niklas asked.

“She is on her way, she is being accompanied by my father, it seemed safer for her. I needed to see how Joseph was before I brought her along.”

“And the children?”

“Are coming. Whatever happens I think they have a hold over him that none of us have. He is so different around them. Lily gave birth only a few weeks ago but Joseph changed when Jack was born. He seemed… he didn’t hold him but he never stopped looking at him. It was as if he couldn’t bear to be close to him and yet I found him guarding the door to the nursery when Jack went down for a nap.”

“Perttu, don’t you thinks it’s too dangerous to bring them, what if he turns? What if he hurts them in one of his rages? What will any of you do if he takes a child from you in his madness?”

“He will kill me.”

                Joseph emerged from the trees looking Perttu directly in the eye. “If I become capable of such a horror that I hurt an innocent child, then I am not fit to stay alive. I will do right you my brother, and by the family you bring.”

“Joseph!” Overcome with joy Perttu ran at him but Joseph stopped him.

“I am dangerous. I need a few days of training to discipline myself. Don’t let the kids see me until the week’s end. I am so sorry for what I did last night. I’m sorry for everything, I have a task to do and I won’t neglect it. Too much depends on the outcome of these wars. Hearing your voice when I woke, I knew I had to choose my side, do something good. I don’t want you to have to watch your sons go to war because we couldn’t fix it.”

“Joseph…? It sounds like your saying more, something that isn’t just your allegiance to me.”

“I’m saying goodbye Perttu. I love you as a brother, I will die for you, I will endure anything for your children and I’m saying that I do this for you! That I will do whatever you want of me in this moment. I will unleash the magic in me for the good. But that is the last thing I will do. I’ll make sure Thomas and Aurora and Philip and Jack have a life of relative peace but then I do not want to walk the world anymore. I have fought for so long; I have seen things that make sleeping hard to do. I can not do it any longer. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

“Joseph! Joseph where are you going?! Come back. You can’t! Don’t you walk away from me! Don’t you tell me that, I need you! Joseph! Think of the children, they love you. Don’t walk away..! Joseph…”

“I’ve made my mind up; I’ll see you at the end of the week. Then we can finish this business.”