Can't Let You Go (Aokise)

Prologue (Aomine P.O.V.)

I sat on my couch watching Tv. It was a late Friday, and I was waiting for Kise to arrive. He had told me he had had to speak with me after practice. He was already late, though I didn't expect anything more of him. Finally, after what seemed like hours of waiting, he rang the doorbell.

I rushed to open it, but as soon as I did, I realized something was wrong. Kise looked as though he had been crying, so I pulled him inside in a matter of seconds.

"Hey, hey Kise? What's wrong?" I franticly asked him, sitting him down on the couch, and then sitting down next to him.

He removed my hand from his waist, and slowly looked up at me. "We have to talk, Aomine," he started. I was seriously starting to get freaked out, but I ignored the feeling. He didn't even call me the usual "Aominecchi".

"Yea, I'm here, we can talk," I started, sounding slightly frantic.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I got a job offer yesterday, it could be life-changing. But then again, I would never be able to be with you. As I was never out, they never knew I dated you. My whole family wants me to take the deal, and I don't think I have any other options. I'm sorry," I could already feel my eyes watering, but I would not cry. I'm Daiki Aomine, I never cry, crying is for babies.

"Are you sure there's no other way?" I asked, through my teeth, squeezing my eyes shut to keep from crying.

"I'm sure, I've tried everything, there's nothing I can do. I'm so sorry," that broke me, I was unable to speak because I loved Kise. I loved him to the point I wouldn't even fight him on this. He looked so detriment, and I didn't have it in me to see him fail at something he wanted. It was his decision after all. 

I slowly nodded my head, a tear falling down my face. Thankfully the dark lighting hid it from him. "Ok, I'll go," my voice cracked saying that, but there was nothing else I could do.

"You're not gonna argue with me?" he stated sadly.

I shook my head, still only looking at the floor. "What's the point? You seem sure of your decision, and who am I to argue with you? Your boyfriend? That doesn't mean I can choose what you'll do with your life. Hell, I'm not even your boyfriend anymore," tears trickled down my face, and I was barely able to speak. All I'd just said was said in nothing more than a whisper, and my face felt hot. This was hell. Literal hell. 

He turned to me, and I saw his own teary eyes. He weakly smiled at me. "Thank you, Aominecchi, you don't know how much easier that makes this."

I wanted to punch something. I lost the only person I still cared about. The only person I wanted to spend my time with. God, the only reason I was even remotely normal right now was because of him. I had started going to practice daily, I worked harder in class, and my life, in general, had improved. 

In truth, he was the only reason I had gotten rid of my depression. The only reason I stopped cutting. He couldn't leave, he couldn't. I wouldn't survive, and I knew that for a fact. Tears would not stop falling down my face, and though I desperately tried to stop them, trying to be strong, not only for Kise's sake but also my own. 

I slowly stood up, deciding it would be better for him to leave because I didn't want him to see me lose my cool. "If that's all, I think you should go," he slowly got up and headed for the door. I went after him and right before he closed the door, he turned to me and said "I'm sorry." 

He then closed the door, and all my body seemed to be able to do, was sit against the door and cry. Tears would not stop falling, and I was now audibly sobbing. 

That "I'm sorry" might have been what broke me most. Kise never knew about my depression, but he held a major role in removing it nonetheless. But he was gone now, and there was nothing I could have done, yet he was the one who was apologizing. 

-----

I didn't eat that day. I just went straight to bed and cried as soon as I managed to pick myself up from the floor. I didn't even bother to change. I stayed in bed for the whole weekend, still in the same clothes as on Friday, still not eating. Ever since the breakup, all I seemed to be able to do was, sleep, go to the bathroom, and cry. 

I had no awareness or concept of time, I couldn't even tell day from night anymore. I just sat and cried, to the point that I felt as though I would run out of tears. But that never happened either. I hoped so dearly, that Kise would walk in and tell me it was all a prank, or that I would wake up from this nightmare. Neither happened, so I kept crying useless tears over a relationship I knew would never last.

I didn't go to school that week. The weekend came again and I knew that I could no longer pretend to be sick. Satsuki would forcefully drag me there, I knew that for a fact. A small part of me still hoped she would forget. There was no way in hell I could deal with seeing Kise. But I would have to.

But it's funny, isn't it? How easily I fell right back into crying and not eating. Hell, I'd been close to going back to cutting. How is it, that depression is so hard to get rid of, and then even once gone, a single person leaving your life could bring it right back? How a single conversation breaks the dam of bad thoughts and emotions and floods them with you all at once.