Why i did it

birth

Sals pov:
Willow fisher was born on September 13th 1993, she weighed six pounds two ounces, her skin was pale like mine but she had her mothers light brown hair, her eyes were baby blue from what i could see, Ashly hadn't comprehend what she just went though yet, her face was numb along with her lower half. She held willows lifeless body unsure of what to do, it didn't take doctors long to scoop her up and try to resuscitate her. She was crying in only thirty seconds, I peered down at Ash, she looked defeated as she laid peeing herself uncontrollably, normally mothers and fathers would be hugging each other, celebrating new birth, we were close until Willow came, I felt as if I had lost my wife, she hadn't spoke to me the first few weeks after we came home, she just sat in our bed, staring in a void. Willow was a happy baby, she only cried when she was hungry or tired. sometimes I pretended like i couldn't hear her screaming from her crib, I imagined how life would be if they hadn't brought her back to life, Ash would probably eat on her own. It wasn't her fault her husband had to take care of her as she dissociated from herself.

Ashly's pov:
I feel like I lost apart of myself, We had Willow shortly after Larry hung himself, it was too many things all happening at once, and Sal pretends that nothing bad happened. I hate how he drags me across the room for a bath everyday, I rather sit in my own waste until I could move on my own. Willow doesn't make this situation any better, she won't latch on to my breasts, I tried to be patient and slow but I ended up letting her fall on the floor, her shrieks filled the room, I knew Sal would act like he couldn't hear,
she sat there all night. in the morning Willow was weak, she had cried most the night until she wore herself out, Sal asked if I had dropped her, I didn't answer him, I just looked into his eyes lifelessly until he placed her back on my lap. she latched on, and didn't make a fuss after that.

Sals pov:
Ashly looked at me blankly, Willow was calm, but her breathing was heavy, I gave her back to Ashly, maybe she had fallen asleep. Willow didn't cry for the next three months, she just waited for us, sometimes she'd go a day, waiting in her crib for me to come get her, I usually got black out drunk on those days, it was because I missed Larry, we agreed if Ashly had a boy his name would be Larry, but we had a girl, whom was named after the first female nurse I saw.
   Willow was very frail by her first year, I was working three jobs so Ashley had to be a full time mother. The woman I  once fell in love with became the person I hated most.