Time For More

Irreversible Step

Daisy:

Gah! What is my deal?! That was so not smooth. But what else could I say? That I was unable to sleep because my mind was occupied with thoughts of kissing him. Again.

I cherish our last kiss even though he doesn't remember it. And as much as I want to feel his soft lips against mine, I can't muster the courage to take this step. It was easier last time because I had the assurance of his memory loss. It made me reckless and a little brave.

But now, all I do is wonder. Wonder if I could be so bold now knowing he will remember. He will have time to react, to reject me.

I feel like we both know there is something between us but neither one of us wants to be the first to bring it up. Maybe he would prefer to keep things professional. Which is a better reason than mine; I'm just scared.

I groan at my predicament as I shut the door to my room and just lean against it. I roll my eyes at the ceiling and try to not be embarrassed by the way I feel.

The sound of a soft knock on the door disturbs my thoughts. It couldn't be Daniel, could it? Why would he be here?

I open the door and look up into those pleading big brown eyes and step aside so he can come in. He seems serious. And quiet. It must be important. I close the door and turn around to ask him what's going on and he's just standing there facing me. We're nearly chest to chest. I jump a little at the close proximity and hit my back on the door.

He cups my face and slowly leans in for a kiss.

I am stone-statue still waiting for him to take my lips in his. I have been dreaming about this for weeks and I just know I'll say something stupid to ruin this moment and so I am silent and achingly desperate for him to close this distance between us. Slowly, softly, he takes my bottom lip between his, and then my top lip.

My eyes close and I'm somewhere between a moan and a sigh remembering how good this feels. How could I have denied us this for so long?

This kiss is so tender that it's emotional. His hands slide down to my shoulders, thumbs brushing my collarbones. I'm kissing him back, hoping he can feel my relief that we are taking this irreversible step. I place my hands gently on his chest and slightly grip his black cotton sleep shirt while his mouth moves against mine.

Too soon, he breaks the kiss. We're both a little short of breath and he pulls back to look into my eyes.

"It was you. You are the reason I can't sleep. You're all I think about. I've been planning to tell you, to kiss you in a thousand different ways but I talk myself out of it every time. If you don't have feelings for me, tell me now and I'll go" he says only inches away from my face.

Can't he see how much I want this?

"Don't go. Please don't stop. I want you to kiss me again," I smile and lean in reaching my hands behind his neck to pull him closer while I press his lips to mine. "And again." I mumble while kissing.

"And again."

He grabs my hips to align my body with his and deepens the kiss. This is a different kiss. This kiss is passionate, demanding. I open for him, a soft gasp escaping my lips.

He was the brave one, coming here, taking a chance, opening his heart. I know I need to tell him how I feel as well, but I can't find the words so I pour myself into the heat of this moment. And just as his hands press into my lower back he stops and pulls back. We are both panting. How much time has passed? These kisses simultaneously feel like hours and somehow not long enough.

He presses his forehead to mine.

"Do you think of me too?" he asks.

"Yes." Woah, my voice sounds a bit deep and husky. I step back to look at him. "Constantly, Daniel. One of us is a coward and it's not you. I'm glad you came here tonight. I want this. I do. I've wanted this for a while, but I was scared. I knew there was something between us, I just didn't know what, if anything, to do about it," I reluctantly admit.

"If you felt so certain, why wouldn't you?" He asks with a crinkle between his brows.

"I just...relationships haven't really worked out in the past and I always end up hurting. I care about you Daniel. You mean a lot to me, in whatever role. Risking our friendship, which I need, for more was a chance I was too frightened to take." I sigh looking at the floor. "But to feel your lips on mine again, I realize I wasted time waiting for nothing."

"Again?" He asks looking both surprised and confused, which is a common look for him.

"I kissed you. In the time loops." I admit with a slight shrug of the shoulder. Embarrassed but not really. "You wouldn't remember, obviously, but I had to know what it felt like. I was running out of time, not sure if I could save us all, and in the back of my mind I thought, kiss Daniel before you die..." I explain with an innocent plea.

"And."

"And what?"

"What did it feel like? You have to tell me since I wasn't there...at least this version of me. You realize this is unfair, don't you?"

I stand on my toes and kiss him.

"It felt like that," I whisper against his mouth.

"You've had this kiss to store in your memories, but I haven't had it in mine. I think I'm going to need another demonstration of exactly what it was like." He states matter of factly with a cocked eyebrow.

I kiss him again, deeper. Pulling him tighter to me.

Then I push him gently so that he's slowly walking backward until the back of his knees hit the bed and he's falling onto it pulling me with him on top. The kiss never breaks. It only intensifies.

His hungry hands roam my back, free from the uncertainty that previously held him back, under my shirt, gripping my hips while he lets me lead the kiss. I have no intention of stopping, even for air.

In a flash he flips us both over so I'm on my back. My chest heaves for intake of breath, for more of him. I'm holding his body between my thighs. The look he's giving me is a statement of what he wants and also a question for me of how far I want this to go.

"Stay." I say and hope it doesn't sound like begging.. "Every night. I want you here every night to stay with me."

"Then I'll be here." He lowers his mouth to the side of my neck, under my ear. "Every night."

His hot breath against my responsive skin is a promise I know he'll keep. This night, our first night together. Will be one of many. I'm done waiting.