Haunted

24 | drunk on him

***see end notes for trigger warnings for this chapter***

this chapter is dedicated to holydebtoftime, or as my mom refers to her, "twitter friend anna". happy birthday angel!!! i adore you and i hope you have the most wonderful day. enjoy this chapter as a token of my friendship <3
if you guys don't follow anna on twitter, you need to rectify that immediately. she is a light on that little bird app... even tho she coined "hey baby sister why's your ***** all wet" which was truly an abomination that she should go ~back~ to jail for.
(anna i swear this bday dedication was not meant to be a roast but you're just so easy to roast. i love you. happy birthday.)

The next several days passed in a blur of sideways glances, whispers trailing Hazel's every move, and constant glares from Braid. After being questioned for what had happened, she'd been released from suspicion by those in authority, though the court of public opinion was still in session. She could not blame the other soldiers for their newfound hatred of her. She rather hated herself too.

Luckily Irish was going to be alright, though Hazel hadn't seen him herself. She'd been advised to stay away, to give him time to recover without her intrusion. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his freckles dark against the paleness of his skin, saw the blood in all of the cuts. Wounds that she'd given him.

She still could not wrap her mind around how she'd so easily hurt him. She never imagined Occlumency to be such a powerful tool that it could shroud her brain and blind her to what was happening. She refused to return to her mind palace now. Refused to even think the words Occlude ad mentem for fear that she'd slip into that monstrous version of herself again.

Despite what she'd done, Red and Blue remained by her side, fielding vicious comments made under the breaths of other soldiers, and reporting everything they heard about Irish's recovery. They assured her the same that Narcissa had, that she was not a monster. That what she'd done was a terrible mistake.

She tried to take the words to heart, but she felt a pit of blackness blooming inside of her. A flower with petals of obsidian and the bitter fragrance of death. As much as she wanted to weed it out, its roots were deep and immovable, like the seed of evil had already existed in her and was just now beginning to sprout.

Hazel swallowed and tried to put the thought out of her mind. Tried not to feel the knots in her stomach that she was sure were the toxic flower's roots twisting in soil.

Carrow's eyes were wild when the soldiers filed into the classroom, Red and Hazel exchanging a questioning glance as they took their usual spots. The moment they were all seated, Carrow began speaking, her body seeming to vibrate with a nervous energy that radiated through the room.

"In two weeks," she said, looking around at all of their faces, "will be the Eclipse Ball." Hazel's eyes shifted towards Red and Blue. "Celestial events are important to Wizarding culture, and the Dark Lord himself will be in attendance." The group broke out into hushed whispers. Hazel felt her stomach do a somersault, nerves forcing it to flip so many times that nausea began to creep up her throat.

Carrow clapped her hands to draw their attention back to her, not bothering to scold them for disrespecting her rule of utter quiet when she was speaking. "There is much to do to prepare. The Dark Lord is eager to see you all returned back to health. Over the next two weeks you must learn proper society etiquette..."

Carrow continued to drone on about preparations but Hazel could not focus. Fear gripped her like an iron vice clenching down on her skin and squeezing her heart. Her breathing grew shallow, her vision speckled with black. Abruptly she stood and stumbled to the door, ignoring Carrow's exclamation that she hadn't asked for permission to exit.