Cosette

     "I didn't mean for it to happen as it did. It was an accident I swear. She just made me so angry and I just- let me start over. Six months ago I moved from Arkansas to Iowa. At the time I had never been out of state before or on my own. I had gotten a call from Iowa State Psychiatric Hospital offering me a job. I knew that this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. They almost never hire because no one quits since it is such an amazing place to work, or was. But somehow they saw me, they saw my résumé out of the hundreds that they had, just waiting to be looked at. So I did what any rational person would do, I packed my things and moved north to pursue my dream job, which meant leaving home for the first time. A 5'4'', blue-eyed, redhead who had never even been on a plane before, did this all by her lonesome. And it was amazing, at first. I mean obviously, it took some getting used to, mostly the weather, but it was nice. I got to decorate my first apartment, and I made friends with a few of my neighbors, not that I was home much to see them. I got to know my new colleagues as well and made some friends at the workplace."

     "After about a month or so I started to notice some things regarding my work, two things to be specific. The first is that no one, and I mean no one, ever came to visit the patients. They just never had any visitors. In Arkansas, we had to kick people out at the end of visiting hours almost every night. But me being naive, passed it off as it just being a different way of life here. The second thing I noticed, though, was a little creepier. I noticed how the patients would stare at me when I walked into a room, while I am in that room, and while I exit. At first, I thought that I was just hallucinating. Passed it off as lack of sleep, or just too much caffeine. But the more it actually happened the more I noticed that it was truly happening and that I wasn't crazy at all. They were always looking at me. Now for some of the patients I knew that this couldn't, or shouldn't, be possible, their diagnoses say that, but the fear in my gut and my quick beating heart said otherwise. Their eyes would linger on me when I was in the room, one room more than others, the Commons Area, otherwise known as the resting area. It is the most used room in the hospital, excluding the bedrooms. In the Commons Area, there are couches, televisions, games, tables, etc. The patients use it to relax, and for the quote on quote "bad" patients, it is a reward to be able to go there. Really it's just a big living room. I didn't tell anyone at first. I thought that maybe I was just a little scared, being so far away from home and in uncharted territory. So I chose to ignore it and do my job, little did I know that creepy patients would be the last of my worries in a few months. I was given my first case, not a month and a half after I got there. I was assigned to a woman in her mid-thirties. Her diagnosis: extreme bipolar personality disorder. She was the worst case that Iowa had seen since the '70s, and that was a bad case. She needed the best care and the best doctor. Why she was assigned to me, I have no clue. But I do know that it was a mistake and it didn't end well. Unfortunately, I didn't have the power to say no, so I had no other choice but to take the case and meet my first, and unknowingly, my last, patient. I remember opening her file and freezing. I remember not knowing what to think. I also remember thinking that this could be my only chance to see her again."

Patient File

Name: Cosette Gabbsy

Patient #: 22030175

D.O.B.: 1984-05-22

Sex: Female

Allergies: None

Medical Problems (Manage): Asthma (Mi)

Diagnosis: Bipolar Personality Disorder (E)

Prescriptions: Zyprexa, Lithium, Zoloft, Trileptal, Ambien

Marital Status: Undefined