Ancient's Smashing Reviews

In the Crossfire by @YelenaLugin

Crossfire: Original story. Angels show up and woop everyone's ass except for pocket resistance.

2. Main Character:

Gladiator: Sokka hates Fire Nation and wants to make them pay.

Crossfire: Sky hates Angels and wants to make them pay.

3. Pressure: 

Gladiator: Sokka prepares an ambush when he hears there is fire nation nearby. He is warned not to fight by wiser soldiers because something isn't right.

Crossfire: Sky prepares an ambush when she senses angels nearby. She is warned by her spidey-senses not to fight because something isn't right.

4. Flawed Trigger:

Gladiator: Overcome with rage, Sokka attacks, ignoring wisdom.

Crossfire: Overcome with rage, Sky attacks, ignoring wisdom.

5. Result:

Gladiator: Sokka loses soldiers, gets his ass whooped, branded, taken as a slave, forced to fight to the death as a gladiator, hates himself for the death surrounding him and the rage-filled berserker he has become. Eventually overcomes his flaw as he learns there are actually decent people and that he can make a difference from the inside peacefully rather than thinking he can win a war on his own like a rageful idiot.

Crossfire: Nothing.

And then Crossfire has a second, WEAK trigger as Sky gets captured in the next chapter because randomocity and the plot decided it kinda needed to continue anyway despite there being no consequence to the flaw. The capture has NOTHING to do with her prior action. This is a case of the plot happening to the character instead of the character happening to the plot. It is about who is really in the driver seat holding the wheel. Because its not Sky. The entire chapter 2 is about the story taking a giant backpedal like "oh shit, I made a mistake. lets fix that."

The real result of this is that the story captures sky, not because she is flawed, but because she ISN'T. This turns it from her overcoming a flaw over time to win, to her technically having already won and her just needing to survive and prove something, not to herself, but to everyone around her. This single difference, this one moment, this lack of personal flaw and action and consequence, turns her from a positive curved character arc (which the author thinks she is) into a positive flat character arc because the ones proven to be flawed are those around her, not herself.

A positive curve character arc is about the main character learning the truth to overcome her own lie.

A positive flat character arc is about the main character taking her truth to teach others around her and fix their lies. Think a preacher or teacher through action and example.

A positive flat character arc is what this story is as a result of what I've said, and it embodies this quite well because she teaches the angels that there is some kind of value to human life through their struggle. This is proven time and time again as the angels around her go from not-giving-a-shit, to giving-a-shit, to fighting each other over her and there being political drama. She is just sitting there causing this by the very fact of her truth, her flat character arc. She is the eye of the hurricane around her, at peace in her own plot to just survive and struggle and prove herself time and time again, while the angels around her at the ones changing as a result of her truth and struggles. The entire story is summarized perfectly in the line "He messed with me first.". Everything is self-defense. Everything she does is justified. She need only teach that justification.

Yes, she struggles because she wants to see her friends again. This is great and beautiful and just *chef-kiss* but it has nothing to do with flaws, perceived or otherwise.