Sharp Objects

chapter fourteen

Nah, tallulah, course I'm not.

"Yeah,don't worry tallulah, I'll be up early enough." I drawl, disinterested, turning back to my drawing, trying to fix my hair.

" crystalline will yake you to take hovercraft at 10. Then the peacekeepers will find your launch room and direct you there, where you will find Cecilia. She'll get your final clothes preparation done, and then it's time to launch!" Ahe squeals, waving her hands around in what I suppose is excitement.

And then there are those like me: the tributes.

The once who wait in anticipation as their life hits the line and who's abilities are tested by the danger that approaches them.my category is split into two, well to me it is, there are the careers, like cato and I, Glimmer and Marvel and zafira, who know exactly how to win, how to fight, how to survive. And then there are the weaklings, the prey that are just there to pick off before the real fun of the hunger games begins. People may say us careers are ruthless and hateful killing machines,but,in reality, I think we are the only ones that really try in this game.

When tallulah finally decides to leave me in peace, I pick up my pencil and begin to draw again, but the time I look on the clock next .I've finished another picture of cato and i, this time sitting at the back of the interview stage,it's nearly eleven
Maybe I should go back to the living room? It's not like I'm going to be able to sleep without somebody hitting me around the back of the head with a brick,so why bother,if I could just spend the whole night drawing things? Tonight might be the last time I ever get to draw something. I might as well make it special.

I change into a pair of pyjamas, remove my makeup,and undo the elegant knotted hair that I had for my interview. Then I leave my room,clutching my sketchpad and array of pencils to my chest, and walk towards the living room in search for a new drawing subject.

And my perfect drawing subject is sitting there on the sofa, staring out of the huge window at the view of the Capitol,and the stars that shine above it. I don't think he notices me at first, but I cough slightly,and he looks up. "Oh hey clove." He says,smiling " can't sleep either?"

" I don't think I'm even going to bother trying to be honest." I reply, collapsing on to the sofa opposite him and setting my sketchpad on the glass coffee table "too much to think about.." I trail off,looking at my feet awkwardly.

"No lie." He scoffs, but not in the kind of horrible way that most people use with me " it's not like we are going to party tomorrow.well,it might be like a party, but that'll only be the first bit,at the cornucopia you know?" I look up to find him smirking arrogantly at me, in a way that says ' yeah I'm lethal, what you going to do about it?'

"Cato!" I say in mock shock, since he knows that I won't be offended by his killing machine tendencies " we can't call the cornucopia battle a party! We can call it a celebration though." I say, surprised to find myself laughing.

"Why would we call it a celebration?" He asks,in what looks to be actual confusion. I can't help but chuckle at his stupidity: he doesn't realise something that I have: that every day we live on from now, is not guaranteed. He takes life for granted, I've learnt not to. Live everyday as if it was your last. That is what I am going to do now, because who knows how much time I have left on this earth
It is for the future to know, and me to find out.

" because we can celebrate the fact that we've survived another day." I say, quietly. I suddenly fell like not laughing anymore. And he stops laughing the minute I say it." Cato, we don't know how long we have left. Nobody knows, except fate. And fate hasn't exactly been my friend throughout these years." I Stare at my feet, my eyes slipping out of focus until I'm lost in my own words.

I think they are the most meaningful words I have ever spoken, and I'm glad that I'm able to share them with cato. Because I trust him, I do,whatever my mother said in the past: I can decide who to trust and who to not trust. It's my life, and I'm going to live it how I want, because it might not last much longer.

"Live everyday as if it is your last. That's what we need to do, because we can't...." I was planning on saying that ' we can't both get through this,' but I find that I can't even whisper it, or even admit it to myself: it's far to painful " we just can't give up. Up to now, we might have taken every day for granted. But it's impossible to do that now. Because we are tributes. Tomorrow, we head into that arena, and we fight. Because that's how we survive."

I've never been one for battle speeches, and I'm still not. So what the hell just happened?

" you're right."

My eyes to focus, and I shake my head to get ride of my trance, then look up. He's looking directly at me,blue eyes staring straight into my own green ones.

" you're right, you're totally right!" He says, shaking his head and staring at the floor again " I've been so stupid for years, and you just made me realise just how important life is. God clove, what have I done?" He looks up and his eyes seem to bore into mine.

I don't sit and wait for him to say something. I have to give him something instead.i have to, I need to.

I tell him to wait, then run back to my room, pick up what I wanted from the pile of clothes the litter my floor. Then I hand him the small square of folded paper, and wait for him to open it.

He lays the opened paper out in front of him, and all I notice are his wide eyes, open and an impossibly bright blue,as he stares as the picture of himself, nearly at the hand of death,and me, the girl with knives who stole him away from them.

" live everyday as if it was your last." I say quietly,pointing at the paper, " I tried to tell you that once before. But I guess you didn't listen to me then. But I hope you listen to me then. But I hope you listened to me just now, because it might keep you alive. Good night cato, see you tomorrow."

I walk back to my room, leaving him there in silence, and fall into a dreamless sleep