backbone.

cheshire

Subconsciously I rubbed my scaring arms, "I should have died that night statistically speaking. There were eight cuts. Four on my arms, three on my thighs and one deep across my stomach. There was so much blood that I should have been dead but yet I survived."

Cam stayed silent, his autumn leaf eyes scrunched into cat like slivers. I couldn't really tell what he was thinking in that moment but I had an uneasy feeling that I didn't want to know. "What happened that would make you want to do something like that to yourself?"

Letting out a sigh I let my story begin.

"Elena my dear, take Duchess outside, I think she needs to tinkle." It wasn't unusual for my sophisticated mother to use such words as tinkle. Even though it made her sound a little funny. I complied to her earned, it was nothing I hadn't done before a million and ten time before. In all truth I loved taking Duchess out, because then we could play and I loved playing with my best friend.

I whistled loud so she would hear me, calling out her name. "Let's go Duchess!" I had maybe ten minutes if I was lucky before the bus for school would pull outside our small suburban house.

After Duchess did her business like usual, I began to throw the ball to her. Her chasing happily after it without a question. I didn't even get mad when she jumped up on me, smudging a spot of mud on my new jacket my mother bought for me.

I threw the ball one more time, just as Duchess jumped on me making the ball fly out, rolling into the road. I wasn't scared. The ball had ran out in the road many times before, and my street was a quiet one.

I followed Duchess over to the sidewalk where I watched as she padded her way over to the other side of the road where the small blue ball lay. As she began her tread back I heard a familiar beep and almost instantly my heart dropped. I looked over to see the bus driver Marty beeping his horn at me.

He couldn't see duchess as she was small and the bus was gargantuan compared to her. I screamed out for Duchess to stay, to not cross the road but she didn't listen. All she wanted to do was get to me so she could hand over the ball to show me how good of a girl she was. I screamed for Marty to stop. Waving my hands and nearly crying now.

But he didn't stop in time.

Just like that I lost my best friend. My only friend. I raced over to where she lay and held her tightly in my embrace. The small whimpers coming from her made my small heart break again and again. I didn't notice everyone watching my cry, or my parents who were now at my side. Or even the bus driver who didn't even bother to get off the bus and apologize.

My parents grieved with me for a moment, telling me I could go in late, but still had to go none the less. No matter how hard I begged to stay home, they declined every time. That's when things took an even worse turn.

My dad dropped me off at school around lunch, and I luckily made my way to the cafeteria. There were stains rolling down my face like a stream, evidence of how hard I was crying. And people noticed.

I sat in my regular spot that was right by the double doors that led to the rest of the school, and the bathrooms. It wasn't the best place to be but the odd smell was enough that no one even bothered to sit there besides me. The first one to confront me about my tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes was a boy properly named Damien. The meaning of his name was Tame. Which he was.

He was a quiet and to himself guy, but deep down he had bones made from steel and rubber. He was like a mirror, deflecting anything and everyone away from him. He was sarcastic and rude when he opened his mouth, which was rare. But for some reason, he opened his seemingly glued shut mouth to talk to me.