Between the Empty Spaces

Chapter 1

The dizziness, the nausea and the freaking sensitivity to scents have been terrorizing me for a week now. I have been vehemently confronting my best friend, Diane, that her spraying-perfume habit could kill even a person with a gas mask on, and me. Plus, I put on some kilograms and my feet are easily sore just by simply standing on my feet for a few minutes. Hence, I am taking the time off from the school I am working at with Diane.

Thanks to her, though, I am able to get my hands on the pregnancy test as I refuse to leave the house that we are both renting in the city. She bought it on her way back from school after insisting about it a dozen times before as she also notices the changes in my body that I was quite oblivious to the past weeks. I mean, it could just be because of the midnight snacks I had been ravaging while checking my students' homework.

I took the pregnancy kit out of the box and tried reading the paper that came with it, with no intention of really comprehending whatever is written on it. My nerves are definitely in a mess and in no perfect condition to read what seems to be like a compressed newspaper page in different languages. Do people really read this?

Glad that I know how the thing works even though I haven't used it before, I quickly did what must be done. I know I should have done this earlier, but I thought it was another episode of my irregular cycle. Typically, I am a month or two late and that doesn't bother me. Well, clearly until today. I used to be on the pill, but it has taken a toll on my health and I had to stop it. Unfortunately, it has slipped my mind numerous times to let Greg know about it.

I stare at the white test strip on my hand while I pace back and forth in my small bathroom. This can't calm me, but I feel like the moment it verifies my gut feeling, I will not be able to move and be glued to the toilet seat. This must have been the longest three minutes of my 24-year-old life. I am never impatient; actually I am the total opposite of it. With my dream job of being a grade school teacher, those first grade rugrats I have in my class can't even drive me up the wall. But this waiting game I am currently in takes the cake.

My eyes start brimming with tears when I see the two red lines presenting themselves. I place the test on the counter and grab the sink with my two shaking hands with the hope that they won't let me down unlike my legs that are gradually losing strength.

"Yumiko," a tough yet feminine voice called out from the bathroom. "I'm coming in," she announces before entering, which she rarely does.

Her eyes land on the positive pregnancy strip on the counter and after taking in my disposition, she instantly cages me into a much needed hug which I gladly accept. I desperately cling onto her and let my tears run down freely without muffling my silent sobs.

"Shhh, everything will be okay," she comforts while soothing my back with her hands. "Greg will be there for you."

It is not a secret to me that she hates my boyfriend, Greg, with a burning passion for many reasons. For one, she said that he is a controlling freak, her words, and for another is that he is too old for me. He is just three years ahead of us! Lastly, he is friends with his exes. Honestly, that doesn't bother me one bit. I trust him.

"What if he won't?" I voiced out with my shaky tone. He hasn't shown any desire to settle down anytime soon, let alone a baby. Our baby.

Don't get me wrong. This growing life inside of me has been the greatest thing that has happened to me, but I can never shake the feeling of giving my unborn child a life that I have. But I have a sad history.

My Japanese father abandoned me even before I was born, then few weeks after my birth, my mother left me to my grandma as she said it wasn't the life she wanted. She loved to live freely without anyone holding her back. She didn't contact us until one day when a police officer called my grandma informing her about the death of my mother. It was due to drug overdose. I was merely three years old.