G L E I P N I R

never look back

21 ABY, Mid Spring

Jedi Temple of Luke Skywalker

First Person POV

I rushed to pull off my boots after I situated myself on the hard earth that jutted over the small creek that coiled itself around the grassy tundra around the temple. I felt confined in my own clothing. I missed being barefooted, but the land was rocky around the temple. The tundra was hard earth, only tall grass, rock formations, and the occasional strong-willed tree. It wasn't the most comfortable terrain to walk around on, especially without shoes. The scars on the balls of my feet showed that I had learned the hard way.

But right now, I couldn't handle the prison the leather and thick cotton fabric made around my body. It always got worse when I felt frustrated, and at the moment my entire body was itching with the emotion.

I let my feet dangle off the ledge, just a foot above the water. I could feel the nip of the cold water bite at my toes. My shaky hands balled into a first, and I shut my eyes and held my breath. I felt like I was drowning, so I kept on holding onto that breath, as if it were my last.

This made all the sounds around me appear louder, though. In the distance, I could hear the wahh, woosh, crack, and sizz of lightsabers behind me. They all had their sabers, and today was the first day that they were ignited and used. I knew this day was going to come eventually; Tai, Hennix, Voe, and Ben were sent months ago to find their Kyber Crystals, and since then they have been working on their hilts every other day.

The pressure to catch up to them heightened when Luke took them one by one to find their crystals. I hoped that, like puberty, the Force would hit me like an asteroid by the time they all had one. Then, it would have been my turn. That didn't happen. I was still where I was when they all got back, and still I remain.

I let go of the breath I held. My lungs ached more than my mind, and now my muscles felt heavy and relaxed. My fingers unravelled themselves from the comfort of my grip, and all I could do was stare at the crescent marks in my palms that my blunt nails caused. I was in a fog of my own insecurities and anxieties. So much so that I didn't feel Luke's presence, let alone hear his boots crunch the small pebbles that littered the ground.

He sat down next to me and took off his own boots. He dangled his feet over the edge, and looked forward at the uneven expanse of terrain until it was cut off by the line of tall trees of the dense forest. I heard him sigh, and then sink his shoulders to relax.

I waited and waited for him to say something. He let the silence stretch for too long; I was starting to feel my fingers shake from anticipation.

"The daisies are coming in nicely this year," he finally spoke, gesturing over to the white and pink flowers that sprinkled the fields. "I saw some really big ones near the lake this morning."

I looked at his profile, feeling the muscles of my forehead crease as I listened to him prattle on about daisies. Finally I pulled my eyes from him and joined him in staring at the wild flowers. I made no comment about daisies. I didn't say anything at all, and so, he continued on.

"It's still early though," he lifts his hand and points at the daisies next to the shallow creek's edge. "See, there is still a bud that hasn't bloomed yet."

My eyes found what he was referring to. Wedged between a rock and the grass were five stems of uneven lengths. The tallest with the largest petals, and the shortest was still tucked inside its leaves. I was fourteen, but not stupid. I knew what he was trying to say, and when I looked at him with my set of unimpressed eyes, he merely shrugged.