Being Happy

Part One

Part one.

 Violet...

In front of me sits my GED. It's my barrier, although I dint have it physically I see it mentally flashing in bright red lights. The thing they give losers, knocked up teens and those who are brought up with a working mentality. But I earned it. I earned it and yet here I sit at someone else's graduation. I sit opposite where I'm supposed to be sat right now. I should be there, not here. 

I guess I'm never going to make it after all. What had I done since leaving high school? Sit and read, paint the house, play happy families. I had tried to find a job, a good one after losing my other two. I needed something to do with my time, to believe in, to fight for. I had even offered to volunteer with the hospital where my mother was, but there was nothing I could do. Not anymore.

It's hard being happy. It's hard having to smile, love and cherish whilst anger and loathing burns up on the inside. It wasn't hate, it wasn't at anyone but myself. I regret my choice, I dislike being invisible. It's what I thought I wanted, to be a ghost, but now I'm not so sure.

Chase...

Wearing the silky purple gown I feel consumed by pressure. Pressure to make it, pressure to be something, to be a good son, boyfriend and hopefully husband in the future. 

This is the final step for me, a summary of who I am and what I've become. Even Tracy's death glare can't put me off being focused on just walking on stage, get my diploma and walk off, then go kiss my girlfriend. 

My legs shake and my hands follow as I get closer and closer to the stage, my head turns out tot he crowd searching till I spot my girl. She's so beautiful, her aquamarine eyes are bright and wide as she stares ahead, her long deep brown hair curls to bellow her shoulder, she looks depressed. It kills me knowing I made her like that, how I suggested she get her GED so she could take up writing. She even lost her friends because of me. 

I sigh and look back at the stage, just in time for my cue- "Chase Drake." Is called and I walk with wobbly legs to the centre. Just as I practiced; I say thank you, shake hands smile for photo, look up to give my family some 'love' aka see Violet with tears in her eyes and a beaming smile, I blow her a kiss and she catches it. She has no idea how she has just melted my heart. 

It isn't until that moment where the class is announced and the hats are thrown into the air, that I finally breathe. I feel people patting me on the back, shaking my hand, dragging me into photos with them. I am left to stand back as I realise for the past 15 years of my life I have built myself up for this moment, I've worked my ass off and I've slaved for my grades... But was it even worth it? in the end I'm just a number with an amount of grades, where I'm going to college and a yearbook picture- in order to protect my schools rep. I'm just another statistic, one that made it, one that was a hit for a while whilst I lost who I was. All of it now doesn't matter anymore. The gown, the scrowl, the confetti- non of it mattered.

"Pathetic huh?" A voice snaps me out of this trance I have set myself just to get me through the day. 

I turn and face soft warm hazel eyes. "Gotta love school spirit." I smirk and hold my hand out for him to shake. 

"None of that Chase, we are men, we hug now." He raises an eyebrow in his cocky way and meets my hand but pulls me in for a hug.

"Someone grew up." I chuckle as I look him up and down he was like a humanized Thor only bigger... I guess playing superhero's played off.

"And so did someone else by the looks at it..." he trails off looking behind me with a wink and licks his lips.

I turn and see my girl walking up behind me, I hadn't seen or touched her in a little over an hour, but the sight of her made my stomach flip and my heart race.  She's wearing a pretty purple dress with her classic boots I had grown to love. Her promise ring glitters on her left ring finger and her parents wedding bands hand from around her neck.

"Hey beautiful." I greet her making a hot rosy blush rise on her cheeks as I pull her to my side.

" Violet this is an old friend of mine, Nash this is my fiance... Oww... Girlfriend Violet." She shocks me in the ribs at the little slip up, I hadn't asked her to marry me but she knew it would happen. I just knew it. 

"Nice to meet you..." He shakes her hand and gives me a look. He had called dibs but I wouldn't let that happen. He wasn't like that.

"I'm proud of you boys, congrats." She says giving me a kiss on the cheek and resting her head on my shoulder. "Do you have any plans after Nash?" She asks fiddling with her necklace.

"Nope, I was pretty much planning to flood the school, set an old man's house on fire and decapitate the mascot. Donnie Darko style." Nash teases flashing his trade mark smile. 

"Great, maybe you'd like to join us- Lexi makes the best spread." No Violet, no! I want you all to myself. I snap my eyes to her and will her through them to stop whatever she's thinking of doing.

"I'd love to! Now, Violet has Chase ever told you about a time we were playing in the sand pit." He guides her away leaving me to trail behind like a lost puppy dog. Crap there goes my night....

*A/N: First chapter is up eek! Comment what you think! And there is a Donnie Darko reference inside so if you haven't watched the film I suggest you at least give it a try.

Thanks for reading! Love- Bec xx