Grognak's Very Strange Day

C0caine Blues

There was no such thing as a normal day in the life of Grognak the Destroyer Attorney at Law Esquire MD (Grognak the Destroyer Attorney at Law for short), and today was no different. The thing about Grognak was that their very presence made the day not normal, for themselves and for everybody else. 

Grognak was back in town after quite some time away. They didn't remember where they'd been, and they didn't really remember what'd been happening before they left - such was life when one had amnosia. It didn't really matter. Grognak was hungry, and when Grognak was hungry, all that mattered was B U R G E R.

So Grognak limbered up and started jogging towards Burger Shot in their stilettos. 

Grognak gasped and panted exaggeratedly as they ran. They ran past a man on the sidewalk who asked, "Hey, are you okay?"

To which Grognak replied, "BURGER!" and kept on running.

Grognak burst through the front door of Burger Shot and screamed "BURGER! GROGNAK NEED BURGER!" 

"Oh, hey there, Grognak the Destroyer Attorney at Law!" called a friendly young man wearing a helmet. 

"Who are you?" Grognak asked suspiciously. "How do you know my name?"

"Oh, is your amnosia acting up again?" the young man asked. "It's me, Jimmy! We crashed Stephen's car together."

"OH, Jimmy, I remember you!" Grognak cried. "But who the hell is Stephen?"

A short man sporting a goatee and a little hat peered out from the back of house. "Do my eyes deceive me? Could it be Grognak the Destroyer Attorney at Law?" he asked in a deep, rumbly voice. 

Grognak narrowed their eyes. They recognized this man. They began to growl. "Grrrrrrr. GRRRRRRRRRRR. GRRrrRRRRRrrrrRRR!!!!"

"Oh shit-" Stephen's voice suddenly became rather squeaky, and he ducked out of sight.

"Grognak the Destroyer Attorney at Law," Jimmy said, "didn't you say you needed a burger?"

"Oh, yes!" Grognak realized. "I'm literally seconds away from starving to death."

"Alright, let me get that for you," said Jimmy. "You can have this one! On the house."

"Wow, Jimmy, thanks so much! You are a hero."

"Aw, shucks, you're making me blush."

Suddenly, Stephen's face became visible again, peering out of the door that led to the kitchen. "Uhhh, excuse me, Mister Jimmy, are you giving away free merchandise to custo-"

"GRRRRRRRRR!" Grognak the Destroyer growled fiercely. 

With a shriek, Stephen disappeared once more.

Grognak chuckled in satisfaction at the terror they'd inflicted on Stephen. But then, they had a question. "Hey, Jimmy?"

"What's up, Grognak the Destroyer Attorney at Law?" Jimmy answered.

"Is Stephen my enemy? The sight of him fills me with rage, but I can't remember why."

Jimmy hummed thoughtfully. "I don't really remember."

"Oh, feck, maybe YOU have amnosia," Grognak gasped. "I think the sight of Stephen fills me with rage because the sight of me always fills HIM with fear. He's always running away from me. What the feck is his problem?"

"Maybe he's just upset that you forgot his birthday!" Jimmy suggested.

"Jimmy! You're a GENIUS!" Grognak cried. They leaned across the counter to whisper conspirationally (and very loudly) to the young man. "Jimmy, I have a GREAT idea. Let's throw Stephen a surprise birthday party!"