Loving Harry

Dear Harry Potter,

Dear Harry Potter,

I still can recall the day that you didn't show up to our first day at Stonewall High. I had asked around, friends, acquaintances, and the like for you but they all turned up their noses and laughed in my face. They all said something along the lines, or to the effect of,  "That odd boy? He's most likely been sent away to military school!" I was still hopeful to find you that day. Wishful thinking told me you were sick from the rain that pelted down on our town. I checked every hall, every class, and embarrassingly enough, I waited outside the boy's washroom. But you never showed.

Somberly, I walked home that day. And the moment I got inside my house, I ran up to my room and pulled out a small wooden box. I reread the oak-box of letters. Each one carefully and slowly. Letter by letter. Word per word. Sentence by sentence. Letter by letter. Only a few were actually written by you, you know. The rest were my own. Some I mailed to your home on Privet Drive. Though whenever I did, they got sent back. Others I slipped into your bag and received a response on the back, but I was too scared to carry on the conversation. I had them organized by date, from the very first one I sent to you and have kept them until this very day.

The first one I ever wrote on yellowing school paper, the ones with the large lines instead of the slim ones. As I examined the page before reading, I remember how your cousin ripped it in four. I taped up the quadrants and it was mostly good as new. I never got a response on it, Harry. I would have liked one, even if it was a 'no'. I don't particularly expect you to remember that specific letter. It was over a decade ago.

In fact, I don't particularly expect you to remember me either. I don't quite blame you though. I've heard what you've been through, and too experienced it with my own eyes. I don't blame you one bit for wanting to blow this town and join those like you. I am most proud of you for getting out, finding peace, friends, family, and love, Harry. Though, I wish you would have realized something before you were swept away leaving the rest of the world behind you. You must be wondering why I'm writing to you, Harry. So far, it's been a load of rubbish. I can assure you, it's not. At least it won't be very soon.

I hope you heard from your cousin last year in February regarding our engagement, then again at the start of May for our wedding. I didn't expect you to go, but I hoped you would have. I knew deep down you wouldn't, and you didn't. I looked out from the altar, hoping to see your face but I didn't. I tried to keep in mind, Harry, that you don't like your family and wanted nothing to do with them, but we've already made arrangements to go to your wedding. I just wished you gave us the same respect.

He's changed you know. Your cousin, Dudley, he's changed. A full one hundred and eighty degrees almost. I'm well aware that my word on this particular matter holds nothing to the torment you had to go through, Harry. Years of suffering the abuse from your family will never be made up. No amount of sorries from any of them will ever give you back what you lost, and truly my heart goes out to you. Though, there is some flaw in your logic, at least to me there is.
Why risk your life, Harry? Why risk your life for those like you, for seven years of your life, Harry? Why all of a sudden do you cower at a simple coward at a simple wedding invitation, Harry? Please, Harry Potter. You damn near single-handedly fought a war, but you could not sit in a garden for six hours to watch your cousin get married. Trust me when I say, I know you don't like the Dursleys, Harry. But there is no logical way you liked every single witch and wizard you fought for, Harry. And yet, you'd rather fight another war than see Dudley and I wed.

I will never understand you, Harry Potter, and believe me I've tried. I've tried to grow close to you, and in all honesty you never seemed all that interested. You moped about school, the neighborhood, your home on Privet Drive, and the town. Doing what, Harry? Dare I say feeling sorry for yourself. I think I've made it very clear to you in the past that I've cared for you. Despite Dudley trying to embarrass you in front of me, despite myself becoming a target for Dudley and his gang of friends, despite becoming disliked in school for liking you, I still tried, Harry. And every single day, you turned your back and moped about.

Sure, this in hindsight is my fault. I should have let you have your own devices. I should have never tried to get close to you in the first place, Harry Potter. But answer me this, Harry; how on God's green Earth, did you think that every single student hated you? I think that's rather selfish of you Harry, to not once think twice about those who might want to be your friend. Though, I suppose it doesn't matter now that you went to wizard school.

Harry Potter, I don't want to think of you as a selfish man. After risking your life in that battle that your cousin has told me about, it's hard to think of you as a selfish person. However it's the little things that make me turn on that belief. Six hours, Harry Potter. Only six. From thee P.M to eight P.M clearly too much to ask a decorated war hero. Not only that, I once again, can only assume you were too busy moping around to realize that I was near in love with you, dare to say I actually was.
I don't expect you to remember, of course. So I thought I'd remind you, Harry. Every letter I've ever tried to send, I got it returned with or without a response. Believe me when I say I know this is petty, but I have been holding on this for a decade now, Harry Potter. I've let it boil, and bubble, and consume me. I would have let it go too, Harry. I really would have. But you sent us an invitation to your wedding this coming January when you didn't give us the respect to go to ours.

I'm happy for you, Harry. Truthfully I am. You deserve a wonderful life with your fiance, free of troubles and free of pain. But it hurts to know you never gave anyone here a second chance, even those who had done nothing to harm you. I'll be attending your wedding this January with your cousin and aunt. I'll look forward to seeing how beautiful your bride will be and how handsome you will look. I won't hold any of this against you on that day. Though, once your lavish wedding is over, I ask you to remember those you left behind. Heed your nature of selfishness and self-pity, Harry Potter. I tell this to you with good will. Treat your lovely bride well, Harry. Enjoy life in your magical world. Don't forget from which you came and those you left in your shadow.

Forever yours. Love,
Paisley Paine-Dursley