Have tissues on stand by.
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Cas' POV
I stabbed the back tire and the oxygen slowly leaked out of it while Balthazar and I gasped for air.
The air didn't last long. I leaned back on the seat and felt my eyes slowly closing.
"Cas! Don't you dare go to sleep!" Balthy shook me but it didn't help. I was done fighting. I didn't want to stay here anymore. Everyday is a battle for my life and I can't fight anymore. I'm starting to hope I'm dead before Dean gets here. He's a handsome guy. He will find somebody.
"Tell Dean...." I trail off and I feel myself slip away. At least the last of the air will go to Balthy now.
Balthazar's POV
"CAS!" I shook him desperately his breathing slowed and he wasn't waking up. I climb over the seats breathlessly and cut open the steering wheel. I get the explosives and line them against the windshield. I get in the backseat with the wires and take the biggest breath I can. Then I but the wires together. The dirt pours through the windshield and a small puff of air comes through and I drag Cas into the front seat but realize I can't get both of us out. I'm losing all hope when an arm reaches through the sand. I tap the arm that I'm not sure who is on the other end of it but desperatly get Cas into my arms and let the arm help me out. I open my eyes to the sun in my face and I gasp for air. Cas is taken from me and I look at who dragged us out. He must be Dean. He was caressing Cas' cheek and crying over him.
"Cas...please...baby come back to me...come back to me angel."
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
An ambulance drove up as two more men ran towards us. The shorter one knelt down and sobbed. Gabe. That must be Gabriel. I have seen pictures. The paramedics put an oxygen mask on Cas and tried to take him but Dean wouldn't let them. I crawled over as a tear fell to the ground.
"Come on, Cas. Stop being an fuckbucket and wake up." I whisper and his eyes slowly start to open. His eyes widen and he starts to panic but Dean quickly calms him down. Cas takes the oxygen mask off and wraps his arms around deans neck and cries into his shoulder. All four of us join in the hug and cry for joy that he's okay.
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
Cas' POV
I wake up and start to panic. I'm not in the car anymore and it's obvious but maybe it's a hallucination. I'm proved wrong when I see Dean crying over me. Dean! I take the mask off my face and wrap my arms around him. Everyone hugs me and when they pull away I look at Dean and kiss him passionately. If Dean ever found out that I gave up. He would never trust me again. He helps me up and insists to the ambulance that they let him take me home.
We are riding in the car and I just stare out the window. We stop at a red light and I can feel his gaze on me but I don't look in his direction. I can't.
And I will stumble & fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
He keeps going when it turns green and I lean against the window. I can't get Balthazar out of my head. I keep thinking about wether I should tell Dean. It would lead to an argument. One that I don't want to get into. I glance at him and he looks at me.
"Are you okay?" He asks and I just stare at my hands resting in my lap. No. I will never be okay again. I can't even go outside without being attacked. I just wanna lock myself away. What kind of life is this? Dean pulls up to our flat and I hesitate to get out the car. Dean comes around and opens the door for me. He puts an arm around my shoulders and the other under my legs and lifts me out of the impala.
"Dean I can walk." I croak and he smiles, kissing my head.
"I know." He walks inside and sets me down on the couch. He goes to step away but I grab his jacket and pull him back to me. Our lips crash together and I lick my way into his mouth. He moans quietly and I slide his jacket off his shoulders. I lean to the side and lay on my back and he leans over me. He pulls away and looks at me. I know that look. I push him off and get up.
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
"Stop looking at me like that." I glare at him.
"Like what?"
"Like I'm broken! I'm not! So stop it. I do not need fixing Dean! I'm perfectly fine!" I raised my voice and his jaw clenched.
"That's exactly what you said a year ago and I found you in the bath tub trying to drown yourself! You think I can just forget that? I walked in and you were soaking in your own blood Cas!" I remembered it. The week after I was attacked in the ally.
"IT WAS ONE TIME DEAN GET OVER IT!! WHAT ABOUT THAT SUICIDE NOTE I FOUND UNDER YOUR PILLOW THAT ONE TIME!!! HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT WHEN I WOKE UP AND YOU WERE GONE!!" I was screaming now. I ran my hands through my hair and turned away from him. This is how every night turned out now. Always fighting. I heard his footsteps come closer and his hand gripped my arm. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" I snarled and marched to the bedroom, into the bathroom and locked the door. I slid to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest. I sat there sobbing for a while. Dean knocked on the door but I didn't respond.
"Cas...please don't do this. I love you so much. It hurts when I see you like this. It physically hurts. Please come out." He whimpered through the door. I got up and walked to a drawer and opened it. My blades were still under the paper towel. I picked up the paper towel which had one rapped in it and it slid out, clattering to the floor. There was no doubt Dean heard it. "CAS?!" He banged on the door and I picked up the blade from the ground.
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye
I put the blade to my wrist and slowly slid it down my arm. Blood dripped to the floor. The door flew open and Dean whacked the blade from my hand and held a town to my arm. He pressed his lips to mine and it's not just the kiss that caught me off guard. It was what it revealed. It revealed how broken we both were. It showed how much he needed me and how much I needed him. I loved him. I pulled away.
"I love you." I whispered and he took my shirt off, which now had blood on it.
"I love you too my beautiful fallen angel." He said quietly and I pulled him back to me kissing him lovingly. This is how most of our fights ended, and I was happy that it never ended badly.
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A/N: hey this is a rant just so you know and also a reason as to why this is depressing.
Four years ago when I moved to Louisiana my first friend was a really nice guy named Reece and after we met we spent every day together. The one thing I never got though was that he ignored me at school and I didn't know why until I reached sixth. He was friends with one of my main bullies little brother. That's why he didn't like me at school. I wasn't sure if he was doing it to stay cool or if he was protecting me from even more hate. On the bus one day I was walking to the front to get off and my bully pushed me so I flew to the front of the bus. I hit one of the other guys on the bus and got off with a bloody nose and I was crying. When Reece saw what I happened I thought he would stop hanging out with them but he didn't. I went to his house the next day and he told me to leave and never come back.
Recently I have been feeling really bad about myself and wondering what I did wrong. It's been two years and I still think of him as a brother but he won't even look at me which makes me feel even worse so I'm just really depressed lately and stuff. Some of my friends are turning on me at school to so I'm just really confused.
Anyways sorry I ranted. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. <3
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Strange Affection (destiel/ Punk¡Cas Nerd¡Dean)
फैनफिक्शनCastiel Novak is all rock and roll. He shows no affection towards anybody except his family. Castiel lives with his sister Anna and his big brother Gabriel. Dean is the cool need of the school. When he becomes the new kid at his school, he finds th...
