Racing Thoughts

The Idea of Love

Have you ever been in love? Or thought you were in love? The fuzzy feeling in your chest whenever you see them. Or when you know they're sad and the only thing you can focus on is finding some way to make them smile or laugh. 

But nothing good ever comes easy. You have to make sacrifices sometimes. You can't always be happy all the time. Sometimes you'll feel scared. Scared to lose that special person, worried about the value you may have, worried that feelings might change or fade, or that they'll hurt or betray you. 

The sensation of love can drive you crazy and sometimes it's not always in a good way but when it is, it's worth every second. 

The moments when you think of that person or you're looking at them from across a room and you can't help but think how lucky you are that that's your person. You think about the way they smile or the sound of their laugh. You think about the soft yet firmness of their hugs. You acknowledge how much you love and care about that person. And that train of thoughts continues for longer than you realize and time has flown by. It's amazing at the moment. 

Love itself isn't always discussed, it's always a specific detail that you love or don't love. But love itself is its own specific story for each individual situation. 

In any relationship, the basics are more important than the extra factors. You should have trust, devotion, patience (with time and practice), honesty, and some factor of love. Plus the added component of something that makes that relationship unique. You have to work to not be selfish or entitled. You have to devote time, energy, and effort into that person and relationship. Communication is so important. 

You also can't forget to pay attention to yourself. Which is especially important to remember if you're mentally ill (speaking from someone who struggles with depression and anxiety). You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells all the time. But you have to communicate to the best of your ability about a lot of things. One of the hardest things is having effective communication from both parties. 

Love is simple and complicated at the same time. When it is healthy and sometimes even when it isn't, it is so worth it. And when it isn't healthy, it comes with a lot of pain and the outcome is a lot of damage for both parties. Sometimes anger gets the best of us, as humans, and people say things that hurt and it leaves gaping holes in our souls. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, that person's intentions are to cause pain but most of the time, it's because they're in pain. It comes back to communication, even the small stuff. Hurt people, hurt people. And in all honesty, you can love someone with every ounce of your being and still get angry and (in the moment) want to hurt them because you're mad and hurting. Misery loves company and sometimes it's just human nature. 

When you love someone, you do want the best for them. But at some point, your person and you combine into one. It becomes a journey to grow together as a partnership. It's important to still follow your own individual dreams but to the point where neither extinguishes the other's passion. 

... 

Some nights, the best feeling is staying up reliving the memories you've created with this person, or talking with your person for hours about everything and nothing, random and useless things when you're both half asleep. Personally, it's one of the best feelings in the world. 

Some of the best romantic relationships begin with those weird best friendships. Then your person is also your best friend. You and your person are against the world. You and your person are against the problem. As a team, together.  You have that solid bond that comes with the trust to tell your person everything and anything, they listen even when it's small, silly, or stupid.