Relapse (Hiatus)

IV

We talked a bit with them and of course I was in my own head, but this time I was hungry a bit too much, so I was thinking of going to the canteen to see if I can catch something good to eat today.

'Um, hey… Can I maybe borrow a lighter?'

I just snapped from my food fantasizing thoughts, and looked at the person in front of me. 

It was a tall guy with brown hair and a bit of green under everything.

And oh my god he has heterochromia. I've never seen it in person, although I've seen pictures of it, but he had a kind of specific one, one eye was purple and the other one was green. 

I think these pair of marbles could make you easily fall in love to be honest.

But in general he seems like a really handsome guy.

'Helloo??-'

He started waving in front of my face and god I'm so embarrassed.

'OH, um, I'm sorry I zoned out-'

He smiled. Cute.

'Yeah I could see that, anyway, can I please borrow your lighter? I saw that you smoked a few minutes ago and I forgot mine inside the classroom-'

'Yeah sure, but can I light your cigarette? I've had situations where people wouldn't bring me back my lighters and I can't lose this one because it's expensive as fuck.'

'Oh yeah, go for it.'

I pulled out my lighter and he put a cigarette between his lips, bending down so he could catch a flame of the lighter.

He pulled a hit and took a cigarette out of his mouth, with a smile on his face he let a smoke out. 

Okay that was hot.

'Hm… Already claiming me as your personal hooker?'

I looked at him really confused because I haven't realized what I actually did now.

'Huh? What are you talking about?'

He started laughing and biting his lip while taking another hit.

Again, hot.

'You lit up my cigarette with your left hand.'

Then I fucking realized… Bro… 

'OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY THAT WAS SO RUDE-'

'Heeey, relax, I was just joking around

I started grabbing my head because I was blushing so hard, that was just embarrassing, literally, my brain is off the whole day so who could've thought that I would light some guy's cigarette like he's a hooker.

If you didn't know, you only lit a prostitute's cigarette with your left hand, so this was just great.

'I don't mind it actually. At least you're pretty. If it was someone else I would probably flip out.' 

I looked at him shocked again, my mouth slightly open, because bro, no one tells someone they're pretty out of the blue??

'HUH-'

'Okay now I gotta go, my friends are waiting for me. See you around!'

And he just left.

Bro.

What the actual fuck was this.

I looked over at those two idiots next to me with their faces being covered with smirks.

'MMmMMmM someone is gonna get it these days' Bachira said grinning. That's… scary.

'Can't wait for the details' Anya said, rubbing her hands.

'FUCK OFF YOU TWO, I don't know what the actual fuck was this right now'

So they just stayed quiet with a worry on their faces.

I don't know if I was actually uncomfortable with all of this or I just forgot what flirting is like. I kind of felt that I wanted to cry for some reason. Maybe I took those jokes that he said too personally. Or maybe I'm just scared of what's to come.

But anyway yeah, that was.. interesting.

I took another cigarette, and with that I was just staring around. Looking at people I guess. That was my favorite part of the day. Because I just felt like a side character in someone's movie. 

It was pretty cold so I just wrapped around my jacket and I squatted on a bench.

I looked like a little ball. 

Anya and Bachira were laughing next to me, looking pretty good together I must say. I just hope this works out for both of them.

I can't have any more friends getting hurt. I lost myself in pain and I couldn't physically and mentally survive if someone else I care about was in pain.

I could feel tears forming in my eyes, so I just threw my cigarette away and started running to the bathroom.

And like every damn time at the beginning of the winter.

I had a bad breakdown.

Ayo another part is up.

I'm sorry for not posting.

College is fun I must say, I don't even have time to sleep lol. 🤠

It will be a bumpy ride till february, so It'll be slow updating.

But yeah 🤠

See ya next time, Z.