ONLY MEMORY

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Before not existing everything was fine
I didn't know anything, mental state was blind

And all of a sudden something happened and the burden of life
Dropped upon me like a feather from the sky

Plucked from the bird of existence, what is the need of my existential presence?

Why do I exist? What really is the essence?
No valid answer, everything's uncertain

Nothing makes sense at this certain stage
I could go left or right, it's still the wrong way
Why do we have to live one day like one page?

Why can't I just skip to the ending?
What is stopping me?
What is the boundary?
The time won't allow me

But the cover doesn't determine the book
I'm like a fish seduced by the hook
I'm just a guy mesmerized by her looks

I want to take a bite, but I can not
Want a bite at death come back like Lazarus
There's no one I trust
As I'm dealing with lust

Just put me in the pit, and drown me in all my sins
All my intentions goes away with the wind

I have passions but none is real, lots of feelings to feel but I can't
It doesn't pay the bills

Show me my ending
Ideas, they are pending
Why can't I skip to the end of the book?

Why do I have to live through the pain and suffering too
Nobody cares about me, I can see it with the look

The gaze as the sun blazed upon my face
I'm so displaced, having migraines, get me out of this place
Show me a way, I can die with no pain, or a way I can live without shame

I'm just rambling to my keyboard as I'm typing
You know my feelings are always spiking

No one does what I expect them to do
No one is ever totally true
I'm tired of all the constant taunts
I have bad writing, why can't I change the font?
I have a lot of fights that I wish I fought

Why am I a loser?
Living the life of an intruder
I thought what I said would probably move her
Everyone seems fine as I deal with Freddy Kruegers

Nightmares in my head, I can't run away from
Sleeping with my OCD, want to abstain from
My obsessions, my compulsions.

Everything that enters my head that is negative
But everything felt, I know is relative

To everything I get from life that causes pain
I need to get out now before I'm insane

Why?
I'm tired of the sleepless nights
I speak to my self as I close my eyes

Epiphanies come to me as I see a dream
I want to kill as they bleed out every seed

That they planted way back that causes me
To feel low in My mind as I go down this Road

Only Memory Is PA¡N.

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 19, 2021 ⏰

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