Raspberry Fizzes

Chapter 1

This moment. Amongst all the chaos. 

Despite rough hands tugging and pulling and pinching at my skin. Despite the rough, punching thrusts he administers. Shoving his half-softened dick into what is left a gaping hole due to his severe lack of care for it belonging to someone. Consistent, tight tugging on my hair, pulling my throat back painfully, making it harder to breathe. The searing pain of letting it all happen. 

This moment, that while my body was feeling the ache and pain of such a violation. I could finally get out of it all. My mind could "check out". For what was occurring was simply too much for it to process and handle. I could leave myself behind; I could leave my world behind.

I would float up and away from it all in such a way that if I so desired, I could look down again and I'd see myself. I would look mangled and it's hard to see that of yourself; limbs stretched outward awkwardly from my strangled center. My head pulled back exposing my face plastered into what I had learned looked like I was experiencing pleasure. My eyes rolling back. My mouth open sounding constant moans and shouts. Begging for him to finish.

But I never wanted to look at myself. I would search above myself. I wanted to see what was out there. What was happening beyond me. I could bring myself into this white light, envelope myself into it. Lose myself in it.

My world was so grey compared. A pointless, inescapable, numb life of grey. Only when the physical world becomes too much for my mind to cope, can I find any light in it. So I search for ways to put myself into situations of which I cannot cope.

The white light fades soon after he has let go of my hair, pulled his dick out of my vagina and taken his hands from me. I'd sink back into my body and try and ignore all the parts of me that stung from under his touch. Trying not to notice the red marks he would have undoubtedly left on my skin.

It was my turn to take control of the situation. 

I would turn around, willing my weakened body to stand. Willing my shaking legs to pull together. Ignored the sharp pains that would emanate upwards from my core. 

All the while I would keep my body in a position I knew men appreciated. Pelvis positioned on an angle pointing back, my hips jutting out to the side causing my ass to lift and show its full curvature. My breasts hung forward from my chest and are left to jiggle amongst themselves.

You had to be more desirable afterwards than before.

See, before the deed, a man would walk into a bar already expecting what was to come of his night. His adrenaline is up and all his blood is down in the power center of a man. I could merely, place my hand on his in a half-hearted attempt at flirtation and know that he would have me out the back of the bar within the hour.

Afterwards however, the adrenaline is gone. The blood slowly finds its way back to his brain and he has to confront what he he'd done without the sense of power he'd had before. His dick having been out and pointing up, all proud, was now becoming flaccid and looked sad as it shrunk, drooping down between his legs. 

Suddenly, he's in the cold, hard truth of himself. Quickly gathering his clothing as if to hide it all away, put it all back in the box and slide it back under the bed. And as the woman who'd  engaged in his sick behaviours, it was now on me to make him feel better about it.

I giggled. "Done already?" I asked as if I were upset it was already over. Grabbing the tissues I had prepared earlier, I would mop up his mess from my body or otherwise. My teeth tugging and nibbling at my lips suggestively. 

And sometimes with particularly hardened clients, I would taste it. Holding my breath I'd let their squirmy ejaculation fluid be picked up with a singular finger and dropped neatly between my lips. Pretending to savour the taste. I will have positioned it under my tongue, safe from those buds that searched for the sometimes sour, sometimes salty slime they produced. I had learned to hide it from them, as it made it all the more harder to swallow if you had to taste it first.