Something So True

~Ch 2: Tell Over Cell

I pace around my room.
"WHAT DO I DO GOD DAMMIT?"
Lyra, my best friend since, well, forever tells me I should call him as she takes a smoke from her cigarette
"What do I say? 'Hey Bud we hooked up last night just wanted to tell ya'? He'd go fucking mad!"
"Kip, you're thinking too much. Just say you were drunk as well." She states, firmly
"Then how would I remember we hooked up dumbass?" I give her a sarcastic look.
"Gimme a drag." I request
She hands over the cig, and I inhale a lot.
"Woah, save some for the rest of us."
"Lyr, you're the only other person here."
"I know but that's still a lot. Your lungs are probably crying right about now."
She walks out to grab more cigarettes from her car, and I gulp as I dial in Reb's number

"Hey.." I trail off
"What's Up?" He asks cheerfully.
"Not a lot, I just wanted to tell you..."
"What Is it?"
"Uh, we, uh"
"Huh?" He questions me
"At yesterday's practice we kissed!" I blurt
"Shit." He says
"I hope it won't be too awkward between us. You're like a brother to me." He continues
"Anyways, I gotta go. Thanks for telling me."
"Bye." I said. He hung up.

"Brother? Pfft. More like step brother!" Lyra says
"How long have you been standing there?"
"About the whole time." She says
"Jesus. You heard it all?"
"Yes..yes I did. Why'd you lie? Yes, you guys kissed but you also did a hell of a lot more than that."

I just shrugged. I didn't have the energy or the words to explain how much I cherish Reb & I's friendship & how if he found out we'd probably stop being friends, since I know he's probably straight.

We have another practice in three days.
Jesus God. Kill Me.

Rebs Diary:
Kip called me. Apparently he only remembers that we kissed. I only pretended to be drunk because I didn't want it to be awkward between us
I love him. I do. In that way.
I just can't tell him.
It hurts to bear so much love yet so, so much pain.
I wish it were different.