HSMTMTS: The Core Four

17

"What happened?"

"I did it, to myself" my voice cracks, and I drop my head in shame.  "It reveals the pain for a while, and the voices say...they say everyone will be better when I'm gone.  And they're right."

EJ pulls me in for another and my grip on him tightens.  "They're wrong, bubba" he whispers in my ear.

My heart warms at the nickname.  Out of all nicknames EJ has for me, bubba was my all-time favorite, when I asked him what it means, he said that it was another word to address a brother, and I always love when he calls me that.  That nickname always makes me feel better.

"Don't listen to them.  Listen to me, you are a great and sweet guy.  Me, Nini, Red, and the others, we wouldn't be happy if you weren't in our lives.  I don't care what those voices told you, but we do love you."

He wraps his arm around me and I bury my face in his chest.  "I-I'm sorry, I'm such a burden.  I don't deserve this, no one does, I should just be dead, I'm a mess"

"No, Richard, don't you ever say that, your not a burden, you shouldn't be dead, we can't imagine a life without you, bubba.  So don't apologize" he kisses my forehead and pulls me closer.  "Come on, I'll help you with these."

"I'll try not to do it again, I promise" I whisper and he helps me up.  He wraps his arm around me and I pull myself in close as we walk to his house, not before I grab my skateboard.

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EJ's POV

I walk down to the dark alleyway as Ricky told me to.  This is where he would come to cry about his parents, and this is where I would cry about feeling different and not having somewhere to belong.

He's not here yet, I guess He's running late.  As I wait for him, I think about what I said to my Uncle.  Maybe I was too hard on him, but I just couldn't stop myself.  I've felt like I've never had a place in the world for so long, like I'm some freak who pretends like he has his life together, but inside I'm slowly falling apart.  And now my parents were the 2 best superheroes!  My whole life, I've felt like some mutant, who could never find where he belongs, no matter how much I try, and now I know why.  Cause I these, what, Speedsters?  Telepathic? Extraterrestrial abilities?! 

Suddenly, I feel the now familiar red electricity flow through my eyes.  I feel like I'm drowning, like someone's choking me, I start to gasp for air.  I felt my throat close.  Oh no, this is different.

This wasn't that pain I was feeling for a couple days, this was a panic attack.

I tried to get my breathing back to normal, but at the same time, my vision started to get blurry.  I back myself into the corner and slide my body down the brick wall.  My arms stretch out and I grab the wall.  "Help" I whisper, but it came out as a small gasp.

"Oh, god, EJ!"  A voice calls for me and puts his hand on my shoulders, holding and squeezing them.  Finally, I see a look at the person.

"Ricky?"

"Yeah, it's me, Eej" he half-smiles as he sees what's going on with me.  "Hey, it's gonna be okay, just take deep breaths, okay?"  He starts to exaggerate his breath, and I desperately follow.  I feel some tears roll down my eyes.  "H-Help me" my breath shakes.

"Of course, I'm right here, like we promised" Ricky wraps his arm around me and I tangle myself into him.  The whole world is changing and crashing down, but the only one I can hold onto right now is Ricky.

Soon, my breathing slows down and my heartbeat turns back to normal, but I just stay in Ricky's arm.  "Are you okay now?"  He asks.  I nod my head and wipe the tears from my eyes.  "I'm sorry," I mumble.  "Hey, don't apologize."