Number 7

1

It was quite revealing for a funeral but that was my goal. Disrespect the late Mr. Hagreeves. The foul man we had to call father. I knew Klaus was on the same boat as me on that.

+

I stood at the small bar in the living room with Klaus as our siblings sat in an awkward silence. Finally Luther stood up.

"I guess we should get this started. So I figured we could have a sort of memorial service in the courtyard at sundown. Say a few words, just at dad's favorite spot."

"He had a favorite spot?" I raise an eyebrow as I refill my cup for the third time. It was impossible for me to be in this house sober.

"Yeah, you know under the oak tree. We used to sit out there all the time. None of you ever did that?"

Of course dad had an actual relationship with Luther. He always was the favorite.

"Will there be refreshments?" Klaus stumbles onto the couch beside Vanya. "Tea? Scones? Cucumber sandwiches are always a winner."

I walk behind him and sit next to him resting my legs on top of his.

"Put that out. You know dad didn't allow smoking in here." Luther scolds him.

"Is that my skirt?" Allison asks.

"What? Oh, yeah, this. I found it in your room. It's a little dated, I know, but it's very breathey on the bits." He gestures to his groin.

"Listen up. Still some important things we need to discuss, all right?"

"Like what?" Diego questions.

"Like the way he died."

"And here we go." Diego says under his breath.

"I don't understand. I thought they said it was a heart attack." Vanya says.

"Yeah according to the coroner."

"Well wouldn't they know?"

"Theoretically."

"Theoretically?"

"I'm just saying, at the very least, something happened. The last time that I talked to dad he sounded strange."

"Oh, quelle surprise!" I say dramatically.

"Strange how?" Allison asks.

"He sounded on edge. Told me to be careful who to trust."

"Luther, he was a paranoid, bitter old man who was starting to lose what was left of his marbles." Diego says as he stands up.

"No he must of known something was going to happen." He turns to Klaus. "Look, I know you don't like to do it but I want you to talk to dad."

I scoff.

"I can't just call dad in the afterlife and be like, 'Dad, could you just stop playing tennis with hitler for a second and take a quick call?'"

"Since when? That's your thing."

"I'm not in the right... frame of mind."

"You're high?" Allison says.

"Yeah! I mean, how are you not, listening to this nonsense?"

"You have a point." I laugh and take his joint out of his hand before taking a drag.

"What? No stop it. Sober up this is important. Then there's the issue of the missing monocle."

"Who gives a shit about a missing monocle?" Diego scoffs.