Nothing You've Come To Expect - Alex Turner

21. nothing seems to stick without you baby

Damnit. The struggle is real. This is making me a bit nervous.
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but is that true? I still have that same fear that we will lose momentum.
I chew on my lip, lost in my thoughts as I stir the sugar in my tea. I think what's going on in my mind is showing on my face, as always.

"This is nothing new for me, or for you," Alex says. "I had busy girlfriends and I have been on the road like, half me life. You've dealt with this as well, even though the circumstances were different. This isn't the reason why we aren't with those people anymore, is it?"
"No, it isn't. I think."
"There were other reasons." He lights up the cigarette he was fidgeting with for the past few minutes.
I tilt my head to the side nodding.
Alex blows the smoke out turning his head a bit so that it won't go on my face. He rests his face on his hand, his elbow planted on the counter. "In the meantime we can plan our Italian escapade. Where are you taking me?"

****
I'm laying in bed with tears still in my eyes. I'm feeling really down tonight. I cried a bit as I was leaving his house earlier tonight and we got lost in a lengthy goodbye hug. We postponed that moment a few times, but I really had to go at that point.
A tear rolled down my cheeck when at the door. "Damnit," I said as I wiped it off. I tried so hard not to cry in front of him.
"It's ok." Alex wiped another one and then kissed my cheek. "Don't cry, love. It makes you quite...salty." He said to lighten the mood.
I may be the only one who laughs at all his dad jokes. Well, after Miles maybe.

"I'll be alright. I just can't deal with goodbyes."
"Not a fan either." Those sad puppy eyes. Aww man.
"You don't have to cry for me. Ever," he said, moving a lock of hair falling on my face. "I want to make a promise to you - and to meself: I'll never make you cry."
"I hope goodbyes are an exception 'cause I can't help..." I attempted a smile, which probably looked more like a sneer.
He closed his eyes, nodding. "Goodbyes are an exception."
Maybe he shouldn't make such promises.

I unwillingly removed my arms from around him, to finally walk to my car. But I lagged for a moment looking at him.
"I put a spell on you..." I said stabbing my index finger in the middle of his chest. My brows were furrowed as I looked up on him with a playful menacing stare.
"...because you're mine!" He sang, finishing the line of the old song.
These are just jokes on my part, but maybe also little reminders that he doesn't want to piss off an Italian.
He takes my hand and plants a little kiss on it. "Don't worry about a thing."

You know I can't stand it
You running around
You know better daddy

I blew him a kiss as I started the car, and as usual he caught it and put his palm on his mouth.

I put a spell on you
Because you're mine.

****
As I'm laying, thinking about our farewell and his promise which although quite ambitious, I found incredibly sweet, I see a text coming from him.

ALEX
• Sunshine Of Your Love - Cream

It's getting near dawn
When lights close their tired eyes
I'll soon be with you my love
Give you my dawn surprise
I'll be with you darling soon
I'll be with you when the stars start falling

One of my favorite songs.

'When the stars start falling.' Right. Summer. And it's only spring. Goddamnit.
Usually I find this song sexy, but tonight it's making me emotional.