61 Things that Bella Swan is NOT ALLOWED TO DO.

61 Things that Bella Swan is NOT ALLOWED TO DO.

1. Parade around the house in last weeks cloths...

2. Even if she says their 'fresh' from the Laundry room. (A.K.A. The Hamper)

3. Scream for the world to hear that cream cheese is good for vampires...

4. And then force it down said vampires throat.

5. Jump off cliffs for 'Fun'

6. Then attempt to sweet talk Edward into Changing her.

7. Scare the Cullen's by screaming that the French toast was giving her the Eye.

8. Try to Black mail Edward into changing her by threating to destroy the Volvo

9. Scream for the world that Edward Cullen loves his Volvo more then his girlfriend (Especially at school)

10. Then Accuse Edward of Fucking his Volvo before her.

11. Tell Esme that she thinks Edward has a thing for her and if she doesn't mind she would prefer Carlisle anyway.

12. Then when he gets home from the hospital throw herself at Carlisle

13. Hang out with Emmett

14. Go into closets with Emmett (And then come out Smirking and cackling)

15. Tell Rosalie She looks Pregnant (Once again look at number 13 - 14)

16. Then Tell Alice she is the 'mother'.

17. Eat Deer meet and tell the Cullen's it still had blood in it.

18. Tell Edward she's Pregnant...

19. And that Carlisle is the father.

20. Tell Jasper he should get some pills for his daily Problem

21. Then Hand him Rosalie's estrogen

22. Play Halo with Emmett (Refer to 13, 14 ETC...)

23. Use Alice's silk scarfs as scrap fabric for her sowing.

24. Use any of Alice's cloths as Scrap fabric.

25. Ask Edward to turn her Pet goldfish into a vampire.

26. Then ask Carlisle when Edward Refuses

27. Then Try to seduce Carlisle when he tells her animals can not be turned

28. Then Glare at Carlisle and tell Esme that she has good taste and Carlisle is good in bed.

29. Make Edward want to kill Carlisle

30. Start singing Clumsy by Fergie and dedicate it to the Cullen men.

31. Notice Edward spying on her in her room and start moaning one of The other Cullen's names.

32. Tell Charlie that she is Pregnant and Carlisle and Edward are the Fathers.

33. Then tell him she is married to both and in a off and on relationship with Esme.

34. Call Renee and Complain that Charlie made her do it.

35. Tell Jasper that her great something grandfather was a union solder and whooped Confederate ass.

36. Spray paint on Edwards car that he likes too bottom.

37. Then with the help of Emmett post photo-shopped pictures of Edward and Carlisle in the school.

38. Go to the councilor and tell a sob story of how she is so confused and in love with each Cullen man.

39. Then confess her undying love to a Banana

40. Refuse too attend councilor sessions with a family councilor.

41. Tell Alice that she should slake of on the blood...

42. That it is making her a bit round in the mid area and rear.

43. That the Cream cheese is out to get her...

44. After she rendered their leader in capable of having little cream chesses.

45. Announcing that she is only clumsy because of the fact she is still human.

46. Telling Edward the reason she bleeds once a month is because she is dying from a rare illness in the hope that he will turn her.

47. Then complain that Carlisle ruins all her plains with his doctor smarts.

48. Think that Emmett is always right and that he has the best ideas.

49. Think that Pranks are fun.

50. Start wearing high heels in hopes that she will trip and have such a bad injory that she will be changed.

51. Wear high heals

52. Even think of wearing high heals

53. On second thought even think of anything dangerous.

54. Read a book on vampires and then try to see if what the books says is true.

55. For example...Try to shoot a cross bow arrow through our heart. (Where she got the cross bow is a mystery.)

56. Tell everyone that she has hot sex with all the Cullen's.

57. Then have Emmett back it up.

58. Convince Alice that her mother was her great aunt and that it would be a good idea to turn her.

59. Tell her father that the Cullen's are really spies that work for the government...

60. And that they are out to get her.

Edward sighed as he wrote the last on down. Every since they had come back after Edward had left she had begun to hang out with Emmett. The horror was shown on the list. "Is that everything?" He asked as he looked at the list over again. Emmett was putting obviously not liking the list. Every nodded and just as he pinned the list to the living room wall Bella came into the room, her hair dismayed and Piano keys where sticking to her hands. Edward Glared and looked at his love. "Run." He said and she widened her eyes and took off, faster then she would usually go but not fast enough. Esme came forward with the pen Edward had left and wrote out.

61. Putting Super glue on Edwards Piano keys in the hopes he will bite her.