Just One Wisp

Just One Idea

The pounding drums vibrate my whole body. I hate how unfair the whole thing is. Mom and Derek had it all when they were eighteen, and now they get to revel in their memories with each other. All I do is go to class and sleep over at Jess's in room 107. No lakeside fun. No late-night drives with the windows rolled down. No fresh air left to breathe.

All I have is wherever my daydreams take me, and that happy place at least has Nick. At first, Nick was just a classmate, just another face from online classes. Then, he was my group member for a screenwriting project in English this year. Now I can't take my eyes off him on video chat. His wit, his humor. I want to feel it soak into my skin in real life.

Not like I ever will. People don't leave their compounds unless necessary. That's also why risk becomes the enemy. Teenage dreams cower from the shadowy nightmares of metallic air. The best I can do is drown out my thoughts with my headphones and imagine myself somewhere a little better. Mom got me new headphones to accompany some books and movies.

She even gifted me some new filters for my respirator. Even one raw inhale of the metals outside can trash your lungs. Maybe it takes a few decades to die, maybe it takes a few seconds. Maybe it never happens at all. You just don't know until it gets to you. Like it did to Dad.

My phone buzzes. I roll to my side and let the bright screen wake me up.

NICK: I figured it out.

My lazy eyelids spring open.

MILLIE: Figured out what??

NICK: I'm sending you an address. Meet me here.

My heart rate rises into the stratosphere. I nearly dropped my phone on my face. Meet him? I don't ever go outside alone. It's safe with a respirator, sure, but Mom would kill me if the metal particles don't. And this late in the evening?

I'm safe in my cot. Out there... even if I did, I couldn't meet Nick in person. I couldn't handle it. I can barely log onto a video call with Nick without my palms sweating and my words fumbling. Seeing him in person would send me into another astral plane.

NICK: It's Saturday night. I know you're not doing anything better.

I roll my eyes. He knows me too well.

MILLIE: Maybe I was. Maybe you're interrupting quality family time with my mom and Derek.

NICK: Yea, sureee.

Nick's voice reads the words to me in my head. His teasing, snarky tone makes me crave his attention so much I can't stand it. Mom would murder me if I went... but I'm so starved for something like Nick. I may never have the chance ever again. I can't help it. I need it. It's my turn for a little adventure.

I pull off my headphones and toss them to the side. If I can't cliff jump like Derek, I might as well follow his advice. One Nick plus one Millie equals two people sneaking out on a Saturday night.