Sing!

Chapter 9 part 1

A/N: so, this scenario again, where I post my half and wait anxiously for the other half... Apologies about the wait anyway, I hope eventually this story will be written more evenly.

----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 9:

Scarlet Brooklyn Grace

She fucking hugged me! As her arms wrapped around my shoulders, I instantly wanted to push her away, but she didn't need to know that. Plus it did kinda feel nice, even if it brought back memories. So I hugged her back lightly.

I really need to get over that.

"So Gin, any suggestions?" I asked, pulling out of the hug, perhaps a bit more harshly than I should have.

"Stacking shelves?" he offered.

I groaned, "What about you Alba? So far we have one idea, and I can't stand the thought of stacking bloody shelves in my free time."

She cocked her head at me thoughtfully. "Well, I guess not too much interaction with people..."

"Gee, thanks," I snapped sarcastically. When I saw how startled she looked, I said, "Sorry, I shouldn't have snapped." Then I groaned, "Fuck this."

Both Giny and Alba were staring at me.

"What?" I snapped rudely. Shit, I should get myself under control. "Sorry," I said again quickly. I needed to get a job fast. I didn't have any skills that would get me anywhere... running? Sarcasm? Being a bitch? None of those would get me anywhere. I started pacing irritably, desperate thoughts making my heart beat even faster. My feelings finally shredded anything left of my concentration and I cursed violently, punching the wall at the same time. "Fuck, that hurt!" I complained, cradling my hand.

I knew the two of them were watching me.

"Brook, you need to calm down," Gin said soothingly.

I quite literally growled and started pacing again, utterly ignoring his advice. I felt like an animal, trapped, unable to break free. I needed to get out of here before I completely wrecked the place.

"Sorry, I gotta go," I said quickly, then practically ran from the house.

I heard someone call my name - or maybe it was just the wind - but I ignored it and started running at a sprint, as fast as I could. My feet pounding frantically against the floor, my heart beating three times as fast, my mind racing faster still.

After my feet had started bleeding, I headed home, only to be greeted by more desperation. I was reminded of the lack of food and soap, the need for new clothes for Amelie. The house felt crowded with my mother, constantly letting me know that we had no income.

I felt trapped again, but in my heart, I knew there was no espacing this, because I was not trapped by four falls, but rather by my very own being. The fact that I cared and was unable to do anything about it. I locked myself into my room and struggled to breathe, only thinking of a way to get money.

"Dad," I heard myself say hoarsly, my voice cracking. "Where the hell are you when I need you?" I asked my room stupidly. Then a loud sob escaped me and tears started pouring out of my eyes, stinging my cheeks with their heat. "Fuck it!" I screamed. "God, what the fuck did I ever do? What did Amelie do to deserve this?!" I demanded.

I collapsed onto my bed and screamed into my sheets, only muffling the sound slightly.

I got up again and paced, stopping only to kick a wall, then to swear at the pain. And right after that I'd continue pacing, my toes throbbing.

Falling onto my bed again, I glanced at the floor of my room and noticed with mild interest that it was covered in bloody - in every sense of the word - footprints. My footprints.

I turned my attention to my lamp and asked, "Dad, why did you have to go?"

Dark spots started dancing at the peripheral of my vision, slowly becoming more and more dominant, then closing in completely.

Not thinking about anything? It was bliss.