No, this was so wrong, he does not like lillies. He loves sunflowers. He should not be here, all alone, surrounded by those cold flowers, when he had always longed for the warmth of the 'happy flowers' making him smile.
Deep desperation penetrated...
Lisa with the 'fuck me' face on Cage's motorcycle.
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Lisa with John Oh-so-insignificant.
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Lisa draped over others he did not care to remember. And of course Danny- over and over Danny- the perpetual thorn in his side.
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Lisa marrying Danny. Lisa swearing to him she would leave her marriage when she arrived at Neverland with baby Riley. How pitiful she had been: a crying, shaking mess. Taking her in, he had been certain she finally had come to her senses. Only to find her gone soon afterwards, back with Danny.
I can't, Mike. He's my husband. I got the baby. I gotta try. Don't hate me, please.
Oh, how he had hated her, indeed! He had redefined his world for her. He had broken every rule he had set for himself, had changed every definition of honor and decency to be able to adjust living against every value he had been raised with. And yet, it never had been good enough. He was never enough. Still, he kept caving in, kept being taken in by blue, lying eyes, and a body he confused with the gate to heaven. Carnal pleasure disguised as a connection of souls. If only Lisa had a soul to connect with.
She kept returning. Every time he thought himself healed, she tore out the stitches and re-infected him. Total immunity to any defense mechanism.
The images kept coming: Lisa, promising to file for divorce, weeks before informing him she was pregnant with Danny's child. The fury whirling him around like a rag in a full spin cycle should have sufficed to swear her off forever. He had forced her to take a paternity test, and he'd never forget Danny's snide remark the day he had come to see him at the studio. The day after Lisa informed him Danny, indeed was the father.
