Jaise tum na... waise hum

Pragya returns

The gate reminded her of the day she had to force herself inside with the help of the guards – the day he had taken Meera to the temple and she wanted to stop that wedding. It made her think how foolish she was to believe Abhi wanted to marry her instead of Meera. She cursed herself under her breath for forcing herself on his life that day, for, though he may have loved her, he never wanted her in his life. And even if he did it was always painful for her. Perhaps she would've been much better off without him and he ... he'd have happier without her around.

She opened the gate and noticed nothing much had changed. But that feeling didn't last long. She noticed that the walls needed to be painted and the lawn was not as well kept as it used to be. She didn't see Abhi's car and guessed he wont be at home. Memories of her being thrown out by Alia and Tanu flashed in her mind as she took a couple of steps inside the gate. She was stopped by who she thought was the guard, but was surprised to see a plain clothed watchman.

"Ji madam kin se milna hai aapko?' the watchman asked.

Pragya looked at him. He wasn't a familiar face – an old guy and definitely someone who wont be employed in their erstwhile security agency. "Abhi... Abhishek Prem Mehra" she said.

"Madam woh to ab yahan nahi rehte", the guard said.

Pragya was surprised at that. "To kahan? Sainik farms wale bungalow me?"

"Nahi madam, pata nahi... Abhi sir to ..." he said after a brief hesitation, "Abhi sir to ghar choddke chale gaye... kisiko pata nahi woh kahan hai'.

"Ghar chodke chale gaye?'

"Ji... unke patni ke jaane ke baad woh yaha kabhi nahi aaye."

Pragya was surprised at that too – not just that the watchman seemed to talk a lot without asking much, but also that Tanu is now dead or did he mean left him?

"Patni? ... Tanu?"

"Nahi madam... Tanu madam to yahi hai... woh... woh koyi aur thi... kuch naam bataya tha purane watchman ne... yaad nahi."

"To yahan kaun rehte hai? Alia aur Tanu?"

"Ji madam... aur Mithali madam bhi."

"Aur Dadi?'

"Nahi... kisi dadi ko maine yahan kabhi nahi dekha.."

"Aap yaha kab se kaam kar rahe hai? Woh Ramesh nahi hai kya?"

"kuch dedh saal se... Ramesh mera rishtedaar hai. Uska to contract hai na... toh woh doosre jagah pe hai... Usine mujhe yahan aaneko kaha."

"Theek hai, Thank you" Pragya started to walk away.

"Madam ... aap kaun?"

She didn't care to look back and walked towards the car where Sushma was waiting for her. "Kya hua?" Sushma asked, "medical shop me paani nahi mila kya?"

Pragya looked at her, "Nahi woh... Actually, ye ..." she said pointing towards the gate, "ye unhi ka ghar hai..." and after a short pause "Abhi... Abhi ka".

"Mujhe pata tha ki tumhara ye short cut kis raste se jaa raha hai" Sushma said and comforted her by holding her shoulder "Pragya ... beta agar tumhe yaha aana hi tha to mein tumhe nahi rokti... tumhe mujhse jhoot bolne ki jaroorat nahi hai."

"I'm sorry" Pragya said and opened the door. She got into the car and Sushma got in after her.

"Ab office chalein?" Sushma asked.

"Nahi... Aaj nahi...actually, I am very tired... hum ghar chalte hai" Pragya replied, "aapke ghar".

"Ok... I'll cancel the meetings then..." Sushma said, "Naresh... Ghar chalo".

Pragya felt odd that she referred to Sushma's home as 'Aapka ghar'. She had always associated Mehra Mansion to be her home, even in the days when she had lived in Hoshiyarpur. Mehra Mansion, to her, was always her rightful home which she had left and later had come back to. It felt odd now, that she could have anything she wanted in the world but no place that she could call 'my home'. 

Though she loved and respected Sushma and was grateful for what she has done for her, living with her was never like living in her home. For a brief moment the question lingered in her mind 'Where is my home?' and was a bit frustrated that she got images of Mehra Mansion in her mind and even more so cause those images had memories of Abhi in them.

She was aware that the CCTV cameras would have picked her talking to the watchman. But she didn't care. After all, there is nothing much Alia, Tanu, and Abhi can do to her now. She felt something odd when she thought about Abhi... 'mere accident ke baad woh ghar choddke chale gaye?' Something about that felt amiss to her... but she didn't know what.

"Beta... are you Ok" Sushma asked.

Pragya looked at her, smiled, and nodded a yes. It was a 15 min drive to Sushma's home and Pragya was lost in her own thoughts, confused, trying to make sense of the things she had learnt.