Privacy? Privacy Who? (naruto Fanfic)

a tree's rotting roots

Maybe they should add salt...hmm.

The root agent was still there, standing in the corner as if guarding Kurama. Yeah because Kurama totally needed a guard, they were just a helpless tourist left alone. Who knows maybe somebody may attack them !!

'I'm bored..' No action happened, the root didn't move, naruto couldn't talk to them for some reason.

'Maybe I should just go out for a stroll in the forest' the forest of death was a lovely place for a peaceful walk and Kurama really needed some entertainment right now, maybe today they'll be lucky and some dumb creature will try to attack them.

They felt like shredding something.

"Well.." They started, putting their hands on the table "this place reeks of awkwardness, I shall take my leave" and they pushed themself up.

But stopped just in time to grab their spoon in an invisible move and deflect the kunai sent their way.

'Finally'

Kurama looked up to meet gazes with the root agent, their face showing nothing but confusion. "Why did you do that..?" They asked tilting their head to the side and glaring, yet there was no heat in their eyes. "In case you weren't aware, throwing a weapon at someone is considered impolite" they scolded.

The nin grabbed another kunai from his pouch and pointed at them calmly."it is required you stay seated"

Kurama huffed, seemingly offended. "Pointing weapons at strangers is also considered rude, whoever taught you manner was clearly unqualified for such responsibility" they rolled their eyes, heaving a dramatical sigh.

The root didn't budge, although Kurama noticed that their grip around the kunai changed. His fingers shifted positions and the palm loosened around the kunai.

So he relays on his fingers to throw the kunai? Interesting, Kurama will keep that in mind.

The nin spoke again, tone never changing. "It is also required that you keep quiet".

Did this filthy insignificant meatbag of a mortal just tell Kurama, the kyuubi no kitsune, the tempest, the walking naturel disaster, the strongest of the tailed beasts to ...shut up?

"excuse me, could you please repeat your words? I'm afraid I could catch them" Kurama asked, looking and sounding genuine.

The nin spoke again "it is required that you keep quiet" and Kurama instantly smiled in understanding. "Ahh I get it now." They leaned back in their seat and smiled wider "how about no?"

The root didn't give a reaction, instead holding the kunai tighter. Almost like a warning.

A warning..Kurama almost laughed at the absurdity of it.

Some lowly mortal threatening them!? Please.

"Holding that little kunai of yours like that..." Kurama leaned back in, their smile never fading even while taping their spoon on the edge of their teacup repeatedly. "You may hurt yourself dear."

Now that, certainly, got a reaction out of the root. It wasn't the mockery but seemingly the nickname that stirred something inside him. Kurama could feel it in the way his chakra pulsed at the word.

Intresting~

"What's wrong dear, are you not feeling okay?" They asked, faking concern and yes indeed it seems to be the word that's upsetting the otherwise stoic soldier. God if naruto heard this...Kurama chuckled at the thought.

In the matter of moments the kunai was thrown by the root and deflected by the smiling redhead.

"Rude, oh so very rude" they shook their head in disappointment then dramatically slumped down in their seat, their hands reached for the tea pot warming it using their chakra. "Its almost like you don't listen to me!" They accused, giving him a look.

He gave no reaction.

"Fine..! I'm leaving then!" Kurama pouted, standing up.

Blood splattered down on the table, dripping down on some deserts and on Kurama's teacup and they smiled again, this time it was wide and terrifying instead of the genuinely happy smiles they showed earlier.

They gracefully pulled their spoon out of the guy's eye as he jumped back reaching to cover his injury.

"woops..hand slipped" they exclaimed surprised. "Oooh..I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. may I see the injury, dear?" They apologized, making no effort to hide the absolute smugness in their voice.

They moved from the table to the injured nin. He kept his face down, blood slowly dripping his face the same way it dripped from Kurama's fingers and spoon.

"Oh- oh my!" Kurama comically gasped "is your eye okay?" They asked softly crouching down to the root's level.

Another kunai, this time aimed straight for their throat.

Kurama wasted no effort in stabbing it right through the nin's knee with a small laugh.

"Oh please"they smiled at him "I could do this all day my dear." They cooed and the nin gave another subtle twitch.

Kurama smirked, they got up dusting off the invisible dust and returned to their spot.

"Now, why don't be you a good boy and go call whoever is keeping me here so we can chat over some tea?go ahead dear, don't keep me waiting"

They poured a some tea into their bloody cup and added some sugar.

They stirred slowly watching the nin disappear, his chakra slowly fading along with him. The only remained is the scent of his blood.

Kurama smirked to themself.

Well that guy was interesting! Maybe they'll mess with him a bit more.

They took a sip form the tea.

"Oh?" They took another sip.

So that's what was missing all along..?

They nodded their head. finally the tea tasted complete.

'Oi naruto how are you holding up?'
______________

"Who the hell is that..?" Danzo hissed assessing the injured nin in front of him.

A missing eye, a stabbed knee and from the report they didn't seem to have wasted any effort. Danzo could tell from the report that they see this as some sort of a joke.

He'll show them what a joke means once he gets his hands on them, they'll make a great asset for his army.

"Just you wait..just you wait.."