Keep Up if You Can

Part 14- Keep me in the loop

Audrey's P.O.V

"When are you coming back?" I whined into the phone, my eyes trained on the little boy gently kicking a football in the backyard. A small chuckle brought my eyes back to the screen.

"I get a break in a week and a half, and I promise that the first part of it is going to be spent with you in England." Chris explained while shifting around on his hotel room bed to find a more comfortable position.

"Why just the first part? Can't you spend your whole break with me?" 

"As much as I want to, I really miss my family, and I want to spend time with them too. You know that you're more than welcome to come visit them with me-"

"I can't leave Paddy. Not yet." I cut him off, my eyes snapping back to my brother playing around outside as if he would disappear if I stopped looking for too long. My attention was once again brought back to the screen, but this time by his heavy sigh.

"He's okay. You know that, right? The doctors said that he's going to make a complete recovery. I understand you wanting to be there for your family, but I also want to make sure that you are staying for the right reasons." He met my eyes through the screen, the bright blue of his irises piercing into me as he waited for me to respond.

"I'm scared." I whispered, tears pooling in my eyes. "What if something happens while I'm away again? I felt so selfish-"

"You weren't being selfish, Audrey! You were enjoying yourself on what was essentially a vacation. A vacation that you deserved after all the hard work you've done for your career, and after all the shit you went through with me and your brother. There's nothing that says that even if you had been there things would've happened any differently. Paddy still could've gotten hurt, and then you would've just been sitting there miserably even longer than you were in reality. You can't stop your entire life forever just because you're scared. That's not living." We sat in silence for a moment, Chris waiting for me to say something and me trying to find a hole in his logic that I could use for my comeback. Unsurprisingly, I came up empty handed.

"I wouldn't have had you either." I finally sighed out, giving him a half smile.

"You're right. I would've still been moping around L.A. wondering if you were thinking about me as much as I was thinking about you." He pouted playfully, pulling a small giggle out of me. He smiled at me before going serious. "Just think about it, okay? I'm not going to be upset no matter what you choose to do, but please actually think about coming with me. You consider that, and I'll consider staying a couple of extra days if you decide remaining in England is what's best, deal?"

"Deal."

Chris and I chatted for a little while longer before eventually he was yawning more than he was talking and we said our goodbyes. I was really missing that man lately, and the thought of only getting him back for a couple of days before he left for a long stretch again made my heart ache painfully. I just wasn't sure whether or not I could leave Paddy yet. Leave any of my family for that matter.

I was sitting on the sofa in our family room, staring blankly at the wall when I heard someone clear their throat. I shifted my eyes to find Tom standing to my right, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he rocked back and forth slightly on his feet.

"Can we talk?" He mumbled, reaching a hand up to scratch the back of his head. I didn't say anything, instead just scooting over slightly to make room for him. This was all the invitation he needed, and I soon felt his small frame slumped next to me. "I don't even know where to start."

"How about at the beginning?" My voice sounded small even to my own ears. I was worried about where this conversation would take us, but I also knew that we needed to have it.

"That's the problem, Heps, I don't even know where the beginning is." He ran a hand down his face with a loud groan, his shoulders slumping slightly as he leaned back against the sofa. "I suppose the best way to start is to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things, but mostly the way that I've been treating you lately. I had no right to say or do any of the things that I did, and I realize now just how much I hurt you by doing those things which kills me. I only ever wanted you to be safe and happy, but in my pursuit to achieve that, I lost my way a little bit."

"Yeah, you did, but I'm not completely innocent myself either, Tom. I never should've hidden any of my relationships from you, least of all one that I was starting with your best friend. I should've voiced how I was feeling a long time ago instead of letting it get to this point where we had to fight for you to realize what was happening. I should've considered the reasons you were acting the way that you were instead of just resenting you for it, or rolling over to it. We both should've done a lot of things differently, but we can't dwell on the 'should've' or we'll miss out on the 'will's." There it was. We had finally spoken openly to each other about our feelings, and I think we both felt so much better for it.

Tom and I spent the rest of the afternoon talking and making up for lost time. He told me all about what I'd missed while I was away, and when we started to feel comfortable with each other once again he began asking about my relationships (mainly focusing on my current one with Chris, trying to get used to the idea of us being together I think).

We were currently sprawled out on the floor of the family room, the elaborate pillow/blanket fort that we'd built while talking encasing us in its warmth as we laughed hysterically over a memory Tom had brought up from our childhood. It felt good to laugh freely like this again, to talk with Tom about anything and everything like we were best friends. I felt his hand latch onto mine as he looked at me intently.

"You have to go." He stated simply, a sad smile splitting his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"You have to go with Chris. I'll watch after Paddy, and we'll FaceTime you every day, but I see the way you look at him, Heps, and I see the way that he looks at you. He makes you happy, and he's done a much better job at keeping you safe than I have. You deserve him, Audrey, you deserve to think about yourself for once and be happy." He used his grip on my hand to pull me into his chest in a tight hug, both of us crying softly. "Just promise me that you'll keep me in the loop this time? No more secrets."

"I promise. No more secrets."

(A/N- Only ONE MORE CHAPTER!!!!!)