In Other Words ✔

And Let Me Play

For Gihun was indeed his friend. Maybe the only real friend he had in his life. The VIPs would never give him their jackets if he peed his pants. The VIPs would never include him in their team in a game of strength. The VIPs would only see him as a vulnerability and not a teammate. The VIPs would never feel guilty if they lied to him. The VIPs would never cry for him if they thought he was going to die.

But Gihun did what they wouldn't.

and let me play

For the first time in all the years of being the head behind all of these, Ilnam felt the guilt. He felt like he was betraying Gihun.

Suddenly, he realized that it was not only Sangwoo who's going to stab Gihun in the back. I am too. By not telling him the truth.

Ilnam watched as Gihun walked away from him. The masked, red-coated man beside him shot at the ground and nodded at him. He nodded absently back as a voice behind him said, "It's time to go home, sir."

Ilnam turned and smiled at the frontman. The frontman only nodded as a greeting and gestured for the secret door. Ilnam glanced back at the fake alleyways, hearing the screams, pleas and gunshots and tasting the rusty scent of blood in the air.

He turned and walked away from it all.

among the stars...

It was the glass bridge game. Ilnam let out a sigh as he watched the game in his own room. He didn't feel like interacting with the VIPs. This time, he couldn't stand laughing with them, making jokes with them, and betting with them. He couldn't enjoy the games again because there was Gihun.

For the first time, he worried for a player.
For the first time, he prayed for Gihun to survive.

And survive, he did.

let me see what spring is like

It was the night before the last game. Ilnam watched as Gihun walked towards the defector from the North. He unconsciously gripped his glass of champagne as the girl flashed her knife towards Gihun but relaxed infinitesimally when the girl lowered it. He watched as the girl slumped down in her bed, as Gihun ran and shouted for help, as Sangwoo raised his blade, and as Gihun finally realized the girl was gone.

For the first time, Ilnam felt sympathy.
For the first time, Ilnam felt bad.

And still, Gihun survived.

on Jupiter and Mars

Ilnam was still in his room when Gihun played the last game. This time, he wasn't in his comfortable couch drinking from his glass. Instead, he was on the bed, extremely weakened and a needle connected to the dextrose bag was inserted in his vein. His heart monitor beeped pathetically along with his pulse.

He was tense with worry for the last numbered player. He could feel that he was slowly dying but he kept fighting.

Just one game. Just the last one.

He watched the bloody exchange of blows between the last two players.

For the first time, Ilnam questioned his morality. Then he realized how late it is for him to regret everything.

And Gihun finally won.

In other words...

"Why? Why did you do that?"

Ilnam heard Gihun asked him. He continued staring at the poor man on the street. He's gonna die with me today, Ilnam thought idly.

He only gave vague answers to Gihun. He couldn't bear to admit what he finally learned. That he finally knew his mistakes. That he finally realized how horrible the games were.

He couldn't admit it because admitting it out loud also meant admitting the sad truth that he couldn't do anything about it. It was out of his hands now. He was weak and old and dying and he couldn't change the way of things.

Too late.

So instead, he accepted it with resignation. He accepted Gihun's anger, betrayal and pain. He knew he had hurt him. I couldn't do anything about it.

Once again, Gihun proved him wrong. He didn't die with the poor man on the street. The man was saved.

And Ilnam lost the final game of his life.

⏺️🔼⏹️