The Other Daughter

Chapter 9: Respice Finem

But it might take a hundred sleepless nights

To make the memories of you disappear

But right now, I can't see nothing through these tears

Control my thoughts

Convincing myself it's your loss

I really mean it and I'm

Starting to believe it

She looked at the varnished wooden floor and there she saw Krystal's damp jeans, her crumpled crop top, and her underwear were sprawled messily all over.

She dragged her feet to peer at the door and there was Krystal under the covers, her eyes closed...

and she was fast asleep. 

"Krystal? Gising ka pa," Nanette whispered.

She looked at her and became aware of the shrinking distance between them.  She noticed the white sheet covered  Krystal's waist and her breasts. It did not cover her long limbs and her fragile ankles. 

Krystal groaned like she was in pain as she kept trying to breathe.  She moved in her sleep as she positioned herself to lie down on her stomach.  The sheet moved and exposed Krystal's tattoos and her scars on her torso.  The moonlight washed over her Chinita features as she slept quietly.  Her face still had leftover streaks of tears and Nanette sighed as she wiped her cheeks with her fingers.

Nanette slowly joined in and inched into the king bed.  She was still wet from the shower as she huddled into the blankets and stared at Krystal. The warmth of the older woman's body filled the space between them.

"Naparami ata inom natin," Nanette sighed.

She awkwardly lay on the bed as she crumpled the sheets to her chest until she felt Krystal move towards her and suddenly, her long arms wrapped around Nanette's body.   Nanette was tentative as she looked at the older woman wrapped around her, still sound asleep. 

'Cause every day I let go just a little bit more

In the end, I'm gonna be alright

But it might take a hundred sleepless nights

To make the memories of you disappear

But right now, I can't see nothing through these tears

Out of sight, but you're not out of my mind

So it might take somebody else at night

To make it feel like you were never here

But right now, I can't see nothing through these tears

She curled an arm around the top of Krystal's head. Her fingertips graze the flesh just above her eyebrows and the tip of her nose.

"Nabigla ba kita? I am sorry," Nanette murmured as she swiped the hair from Krystal's forehead.

She suddenly felt Krystal hold tighter to her waist and the older woman's heavy head rested on the crook of her neck.

"Please.  Hear me out. Dito ka lang ...kahit ngayon lang," Krystal said in the middle of her alcohol- induced sleep.

Nanette was sure that tone was not for her.  There was a pain in Krystal's voice and her eyebrows wrinkled in intense distress in her sleep.

"Ilang beses ka na nila iniwan?  Mama mo ba?  Dahil ba sa Papa mo? Sino? Si Pat na naman ba?"

Nanette had heard many stories that Krystal was different as she was built to be left.  That is what Manang Irene told her.  From her childhood to her upbringing, Krystal Tanchingco was conditioned to stand alone and grow a hard heart.