Revealing Glances: Unsettling Short Stories & Their Making

Preposterous Prank Gone Perilous

6. If it is a full moon, take a newspaper, spread it out on the floor beside the ice freezer outside, and sprinkle Skittles on top. Once done, go back inside. At the end of your shift, check the newspaper. If the Skittles are still there, throw everything away. If an odorless black substance is left in their place, wear gloves, collect it in an empty water bottle, and close it tight before throwing everything away.

7. On the third of every month, a fluorescent orange Hummer will stop at pump #1 and honk three times. You must run out immediately and dance the jig as you fill their car with $100 of gas. Once done, the driver's side window will open a crack and two $100 bills will slide out. Accept them with a curtsy. Remain outside until the Hummer drives away and is out of sight.

8. A 7-year-old girl wearing a cowboy hat while chewing tobacco may drop by between 3am and 4am. If she doesn't speak, ignore her and she will leave in a few minutes. If she starts yodeling, you must clap and stomp to the rhythm of We Will Rock You by Queen until she is done.

9. At exactly 4:44am, you will hear rustling from the chips’ stand. Ignore it. If the rustling continues past 5am, or if it turns into crunching, you must burp. If you cannot produce one, fake one. Continue burping until the rustling and/or crunching stops.

10. Sir Ris drops by on windless dawns. He will select a tabloid magazine and a pack of cigarettes. If he requests menthol, carry on as usual. If he requests otherwise, you must open the pack of cigarettes, break each stick, pile the tobacco on the magazine, and arrange them artistically. You must then step back and let Sir Ris appraise your work. If he snorts the tobacco, nod and ring up his items. If he hocks a loogie on the floor, you must try again.

~~~

See? They were completely ridiculous and utterly harmless rules.

I still wanted the list to look legit at first glance, though, so I went to Mr. Sahir’s office and printed it out on the same yellow paper he used for his signs. I then creased it, frayed the edges, and even left coffee stains here and there to give it a well-worn look.

The girl came by at around 11:30pm, and I knew right away she’d get a kick out of the rules. She had a punk rock thing going on, and she dropped her motorcycle helmet on the counter with a playful smirk as she introduced herself as Brooke.

After some back and forth, some training, and some flirting, I gave her the list. I put on my most solemn expression as I stressed how important it was to follow them, and she read them with one eyebrow cocked, her smile growing until she burst into laughter.

“Do any of the new employees fall for this?” she asked, looking up at me with a chuckle.

“I actually wrote it just for you,” I replied, trying to stop myself from grinning like a moron.

She tilted her head, her eyes twinkling. “Then how about you give me your number in case anything happens that you forgot to write down?”

I don’t think I could’ve said my phone number any faster.

“So, is there really a vuvuzela back here?” she asked as she walked around and peeked under the counter.

“Haha, no, we keep it in the back,” I joked.

She smiled and sat down, propping her legs up. “So, Miles, are you leaving or will you stay and help me face the yodeling cowgirls and purple puddles?”

I really really wanted to stay, but I had early classes tomorrow. “No, I’ve given you enough training, young Padawan, now I leave this fortress in your hands.”

“I won’t fail you.”

“I know.”

I tried to be suave as I flung my bag on my shoulder, but I knocked over a box of chocolates and spent a few minutes collecting them with a red face while she laughed. I put everything back, shot her a tight smile, and ran out of the store, beating myself up for being such a klutz, but apparently she was into klutzes because she texted me once I got home.