Lost

Eleven.

"Look, you're right. I've been avoiding talking about it, because I don't want to think about home. I don't want to think about my family, because it was hard to leave."

"Then why leave at all?"

"Because it was even harder to stay. There's a lot of pressure from my parents and I had to get out of there."

"I'm sorry for bugging you so much about it, but I just..."

"No, it's okay. You were right to ask me about it. Just telling you feels a lot better."

I smiled and draped my arms over his shoulders. "Can we eat now?"

"Sure."

I gently kissed him, then went back to getting my food.

"You still want to go to Nova Scotia for our honeymoon?"

"Well... I was hoping for somewhere a bit warmer."

"Uh-huh."

I laughed and he leaned in to kiss me a few more times.

Now

I sat in my bed for hours. I tried to sort through everything in my mind, dissecting everything. I couldn't believe that these things happened. I couldn't figure out how Max is identical to Grant but so different. It's hard to describe, but it's like... it's like their energies are so different. The way they carry themselves is so different. Grant is a little unsure and awkward, but confident. Definitely tense. Max is charming and loose. Still confident, but... I don't know. The only thing they have in common is how safe I feel when I'm with them. I'm genuinely happy and calm when I'm near them.

As more memories came back though, things seemed a bit different. Max was becoming distant, and almost more secretive. He was tense and no matter what I did or said, there just seemed to be something that kept him in his own thoughts. I could see... I know it had nothing to do with me. He still kissed me like he was always did, maybe with more feeling than ever as it got closer to the wedding. There was something wrong though, and as the year passed, he never explained what it was and... I didn't ask. Why didn't I ask? I should've...

I stood, my lashes fluttering as I tried to keep the tears from falling, and made my way to the bathroom. I quickly bathed and was surprised to find new clothes on my bed when I came out. Definitely wasn't going to turn them away, though; I'd kind of been dreading putting the others back on.

When I opened the bedroom door, there was an envelope on the floor. It definitely had to be from Dru, considering it was addressed 'Miss Aston' and he's the only person that calls me that. It was practically a demand to meet him outside, but sugarcoated in his own charming way that he has.

I had to walk beyond the line of trees before finding him. His land was extensive and beautiful. It seemed like endless pastures and meadows. It kind of reminded me of home. I think this might be the first time I've felt the weight of being homesick. I've missed it, sure, but I've been patient in waiting to find out the way back. Now... there's nothing I want more than to go back and see my family.

"There you are! I thought we could have a little fun today."

"What's your definition of fun?"

His brows furrowed and he stepped closer. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. "I'm totally fine."

"Hmm... I don't believe you."

I smiled slightly. "I promise I'm fine. Just missing home."