Brothers | Sirius and Regulus Black

You Were My Brother

June 25th, 1979

I remembered my brother's birthday every year, of course.
We hadn't spend a birthday together since Reg was ten. Then I went to Hogwarts, I had been sorted into Gryffindor and Regulus practically stopped talking to me.

I remember how little Reggie listened to my parents talking about the Dark Lord, how they admired and loved him, how he was a great person. A person to follow because each one of it's steps were the right thing to do.

I remember how, even before I went to Hogwarts, Regulus began to put posters on his walls of the people our parents told us were the ones the wanted us to be like when we would grow up.

He began to dream of having what our father called the greatest privilege, and I sometimes caught him rolling his left sleeve up and pass a finger on the smooth skin of his forearm, where he was sure one day would be the Dark Mark.

I didn't tell him anything about what our parents teached us at home before going at Hogwarts, but I was never really interested in those books about how Muggle and Half-bloods were rubbish.

The last time I had seen my brother I was still at Hogwarts and he was a seventeen-year-old boy full of nasty friends and dark dreams. Now he was eighteen and I didn't have a clue if I had to send him a birthday card or something.

I wanted to, but that was so stupid that Reg would probably set fire to the evenlope even before opening it. He hated me.

I didn't love him either, to be fair. We had argued and shouted at each other so many times, Regulus about me hanging around with half-breeds and mudbloods, and me about him being a Death Eater.

But of course I never cared about the stuff on purebloods he said. I was not the Black heir anymore. To be fair, I wasn't even a Black anymore. I was a Lupin, though he didn't know it yet.

Reg had finished Hogwarts this year. Now he was a full-time Death Eater. I hated it. I was fighting a war against my brother.

And yes, for how much it pained me to say so he was my brother. I hadn't considered our parents and cousins my family for years now. But Reg was different.

I've always sort of hoped one day he would look where he was going and stop walking before falling into the hole, but he never did.

I waited until it was dark outside the window asking myself if I should send him a card. Regulus wouldn't. Maybe he would have liked to, but did not just like you.

It was true. I did not send him a card that night. If I had known what happened next, I would have sent it.

I never had another chance to speak to him, write to him, call him, floo to him or owl him.

June 29th I was doing the usual things. I did breakfast for me and Remus, charmed the broom to sweep the floor and sent an owl to the Order to confirm our presence to the meeting we were invited to at tent that evening.

I helped Remus collecting his work things and I wished him to pass a good day at work, with the promise of a big plate of spaghetti for lunch.

I went back in the living room only to find a big brown owl at the window. I let him, in and payed a sickle for the Daily Prophet he carried tied to his paw.

I picked up the Daily Prophet and began reading some articles on the War, even tough the Order wasn't sure not even Death Eater hadn't infiltrated in the Ministry by now.

There was a small article on two muggle families murdered. A muggle-born couple had been killed early in the evening the day before, and the murderer had left a big horrible green Dark Mark over their house.
Sirius looked in disgust at the photo of the Mark and at one of the young couple smiling up from the newspaper at him.

He turned the page to see the next article and his heat stopped. His eyes widened for a fraction of second before moving down to read the little paragraph.

YOUNGER BLACK BELIEVED DEAD

Regulus Arcturus Black II, as fonts had reported, his disapparence is collocate to yesterday in the early hours. As the young wizard did not show any sign of mental problems, he probably did not just vanished. The Black heir was suspected of being in the group of magical folk that calls themselves Death Eaters, so there is possibility that his death had to do with that. The Black family decided not to leave any comment about Regulus's disapparence.
Regulus left Hogwarts only a year ago with high marks and the reputation of best Seeker Slytherin had ever had.
Arors are still investigating on the case and if we'll know more about the eightee-year-old our readers will be informed.

Sirius a finally let out a shaky breath and read the article again. His belly and throat were knotted in some strange way and breathing was very difficult. Pain was the only thing he felt, and it was so much pain that there was no space for other emotions.

His eyes began tearing.

I had been a horrible brother to him. I should have dragged him with me, not leave him with our parents. But there is no point regretting it now, no point hating myself for it. He is gone. I thought disperatly, as hot tears ran down my cheeks and my nails sinked in my palms with so much strenght that it began bleeding.

There was nothing I could do. I tasted blood. Oh, my mouth was full of blood.

I had bit both my lip and right cheek. A very strong headache assaulted me, reached over me and pulled me down on the sofa.

I felt I had to throw up.

I ran in the bathroom, my head spinning and my legs weak. I was nearly there when I stubled on something.

I finally fainted.

My face finished down hard on the floor and my nose began to bleed, the blood all over my precious black hair. Thankfully I did not remain conscious to see the last part happening.

This was how Remus found me when he returned home early that day.

I don't remember anything but pain, throwing up and screams about the following week.