𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒍𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒅 || 𝐊𝐚𝐳 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐤𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐗 𝐎𝐂

𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒕

We all board the ship and watch Nina carefully. Inej and I stick by her side as we sail into the open ocean. Every time my heart wants to speed or skip Nina helps it calm. With no alcohol to help me forget the fear my mind races. My palms have turned to shredded skin in under a day.

"Breath, Emris." I take strangled breaths as we lean over the railing and watch the blue ocean Lapp at the hull.

"I'm trying, Nina." I place my head in my hands and spin, my hands clutching to the railing as I lean back on it.

"Inej." Nina greets her as she silently creeps over to us.

"How did you know it was me?" Inej asks.

"I didn't hear it before but everyone's heart sounds different. Yours is a strong thump with even timing." Inej smiles. "Emris has a fluttering beat with a strong push. Wylans is soft and even. J'espère has a deeper tone with a strong beat." Nina smiles at me. "And Kaz's occasionally skips a beat, but only when he looks at you." I turn my head and smile.

"I'm sure he's just in pain, from his leg." I decide.

"His breath catches every time he looks at you. It's like he's just seeing you for the first time over and over again." Nina focuses. "Like now. His heart is racing and his breath hitched."

I flinch my eyes upwards to see Kaz staring my me. The golden sun warms his cheeks and reflects off of his raven curls. He really shouldn't wear hats all the time. His hands thrum nervously against his crow cane. I take a breath in and see Nina grinning at me.

"Your heart speeds up and falters when you think of him. And you always breath deeper." I nudge Nina and soon back to words the waves. "It's beautiful, I don't know why you're afraid." She must have heard my heart change.

"It's not so beautiful when you're under the surface," I say, closing my eyes and letting the dying sun warm my face.

"What about Matthias, Nina?" Inej asks, changing the subject.

"Matthias's heart beats a steady rhythm. No matter what he feels." Nina sighs. "So Fyerdan so orderly. Sometimes I wish we had what you and Kaz do."

"What endless banter and something you can't even call a relationship." Inej laughs. "I don't know if you want what they have, Nin. It doesn't seem as straightforward for them as it is for you and Matthias."

"Not their relationship, just pure love." Nina smiles into the ocean. "The way you two can pick on each other and you both can still be so amazed at each other is beautiful."

"I wish it were that simple, Nina. We both have our issues and that gets in the way of a lot of things."

"But the way you acted when you thought he died." I blush and stare at the horizon. "You acted on that love and you pulled the water from his lungs. You know that?"

"What do you mean pulled water from his lungs?" Inej asks.

"She's a tidemaker." I bite my cheek to hold back a laugh. "Brum said the same thing, Matthias told me." I laugh.

"A tidemaker afraid of water. Who would have thought." I sigh. "I think I'm gonna see if I can't find some Kvas. Especially you too acting as love experts."

"Bye-bye." Inej muses with a laugh.

I know there will be no more alcohol accessible to me. Instead, I opt for the upper deck where Rotty stands at the wheel, nearly falling over with exhaustion.