Behind The Mischief

chapter 15

he was scared yes, but he has waited long enough, halfway through the movie Loki cleared his throat and bruce paused the movie having coming back from the lab unable to help earlier cause of an important project

"you okay lokes?" tony question, beautiful brown orbs calming him down greatly "u-uhm yea-yes...it's just" he paused looking up at the team only to see encouraging gazes

"....i-im ready...to tell you what happened" he spoke quietly but they all heard it, they smiled sadly at him, knowing how painful it must be

"hey~ it's ok...no matter what you do, ill be here..hmm?" tony cooed softly, Loki smiled waterly

he sighed softly "ok well uhm" he gulped and closed his eyes but leaned into Tonys touch

he took a deep breath and looked t the people around him, with one thought in mind he continued speaking family

"well. it all started when I fell off the Bifrost, after a bit of misunderstanding....I jumped off it. *pause* I let go..hoping for peace. I didn't see meaning in life when I was constantly being mistreated and-and a disappointment"

tears ran down thors face hearing the pain in his brother's voice

"I...I just wanted to be thor's equal, I never wanted the thrown i-i never wanted anything but Odin's approval and to be thor's equal. but I always end up being blamed so I...I took my chance" tony gripped Loki like a lifeline but Loki didn't mind, he needed to be held like that at this point

tears were falling onto thor's, Loki's, and tony's face while everyone was trying to hold in theirs, keyword 'trying'

"if I knew what was going to happen then...I would never have let go. by then I would have been dead..should have...but when I woke up in--in an unknown ship, I was beyond confused. cause the last thing I remembered was not wanting to be saved"

"then...then came my savior" Loki said grimly "he..he uhm told me that he saved my life and in return, I had to be one of his minions, but I refused politely wanting to get away from him"

he sighed aggressively and took in a deep breath "he--he looked like a giant grape is all ill say" clint snorted, despite the pain in his chest for Loki earning a smack from nat, Loki smiled at that, feeling a little less afraid

"when i...when I refused, he uhm..he didn't look too happy, he said he gave me one more chance but I still refused. and that's when...when he truly..looked...angry"

"he told his minions to throw me into one of his cells, at first I tried to fight back" at that he looked directly at thor

"but they were too strong" he whispered painful memories flooding in

"the first few days I tried to keep up the cocky attitude I had, never answering questions properly--or annoying them. at some point....they had enough" he closed his eyes, squeezing them shut as he chocked on a sob and tony just held him close

"the true torture began, and it was nothing I have ever experienced, they truly knew how to make someone feel pain, they knew all my weak spots. they went through my mind and messed that up, they would strip me and whip me, stab, cut, tie. I was their little puppet toy"

"the pain" he took a shaky breath "the pain, I assure you is something else there. he said...he said he would break me and" he couldn't, sobs wracked his body. tony cried along with him

the team was in tears "brother" thor whispered painfully and walked towards the couple and hugged them

tony and thor shushed him softly until he was breathing at a normal pace "I'm sorry" he whispered which broke everyone's heart

"don't apologize Loki, it's ok" nat said and crouched down near him , soon she was sitting at the side of the couch near them. eventually, everyone joined her

"*sigh* well...he said he'd break me. and he did. just. that......he...he achieved that in a month. I managed to stay against his plans for a month but then I just....I just couldn't and I'm sorry--i know I should have been stronger--" "Loki" tony called out and held his face in his hand, stroking them slightly with the pad of his thumb, and Loki leaned into it. his warm touch

"please sweetheart...don't blame yourself" tony muttered and kissed him softly, Loki kissed back softly. they broke it very soon taking pity on the team

"it's ok...we can stop if you want to.." but Loki shook his head, he wanted to continue. 

he needed to continue.

he took a deep breath to continue more "well uhm" he definitely dreaded this part "he did that for at least a year....continuous torture...endless pain.....they rarely fed me, at some point I---I couldn't find the need to live again anymore. it was just too much..the illusions they cast..it was just--" 

"what illusion" thor cut him urgently "brother I--" "please Loki...tell me"

he sighed, knowing the damage it's about to do to thor "it was mostly you and Frigga...since I didn't really like Odin..." he whispered "the chitauri would look like you and...and m-mother..., they'd make me think that...that you both came for me...that i-im gonna get out of that place but when...when you'd start speaking thing's--I-i-i knew it wasn't you guys anymore but...but the damage was done greatly after they did it a few more times--that's why i...I was behaving as I was when I saw you..."

thor just hugged him tighter, but soft...he placed a kiss on the crown of his head,

"soon I started to...to cut myself...I wanted to die but every time they would heal the wounds...the scars stayed though" he held his arm slightly, looking down at it

"but one day...the day I hate the most...he knew what I was trying to do and...and he came" he took a shaky breath "he gave me a different type of torture"

everyone waited patiently, dreading what he was going to say

"he.....he r-raped me....*shaky breath*he did that whenever I tried to kill myself. but soon I stopped doing it...not wanting to experience it again but he...he continued to use me" he sobbed out but continued to talk "it became a routine and I hated it! I hate it!"

he sobbed his heart out "and I was tired of fighting!" at that everyone broke, they cried along with him telling him comforting things

this night ended very well for him, he felt as if a weight was lifted off his shoulder. he felt free for once

everyone ended up sleeping in a big dog pile, filled with warm embraces. he felt loved and when everyone said this he broke down again

"we love you Loki" 

the night was filled with tears, heartbreaks, and pain but most of all. it was filled with love and care. he felt love and care

and it felt amazing

they slowly fell asleep just like that with Loki in the middle of it all

family...sound good. he fell asleep with a smile

1798 words
finally done!!! hope you like ittt!!!