suicidal(trippie redd)

three

i grabbed michaels hand so i could quickly drag him upstairs to my room

we made it to the first step before being stopped by my stupid birth giver

"cherrr how was school" she slurred her words making me feel awful

"good" i replied while dragging michael up the stairs

"wait who the fuck is this boy in my house" she demanded while starting to stand up

"a friend" i spat out while continuing to drag michael up the stairs

she didn't question further luckily cause i was really not tryna hear any of her shit especially infront of other people

we made it to my room and went in as i shut my door behind me

"so yo mom-"

"that's not my mom anymore" i cut him off before he could finish

he looked at me surprised but didn't argue

"well how you liking school so far" he sat down on my bed and took off his shoes

"i meannn the school part is ass but it's hella cute people there" i laughed while taking off my shoes and putting my stuff down

he didn't respond right away so i looked at him to see him smiling hella hard

"yes why are you smiling damn creep ass"

"you think i'm cute huh" he asked

"you have a girlfriend" i answered while sitting on the bed next to him

he looked me up and down sending butterflies to my stomach

i really do think he's cute but he can't know that what if he told his girlfriend i came onto him and that this entire thing was a set up

"can you stop bringing that up like i don't know" he sighed

he's literally the worst boyfriend ever i could never

"your disgusting" i said while pushing him away from me

he chuckled before pushing me back

"watch who the fuck you getting physical with"

i looked at his goofy ass then pushed him again even harder this time dying of laughter

"you the one in my space getting physical with yo pumpkin face ass" i said looking directly into his eyes so he knew i meant it

his expressions changed from silly to what looked like serious

it was hard to read him considering i don't really know him too much

it was quiet for a minute as he just starred at me

shit made me feel weird so i decided to say something to make it not awkward

"okay i will admit i'm kinda sor-"

michael then pushed me down on my bed so i was laying on my back as he hovered over top of me

instant feeling of butterflies filled my stomach causing me to feel shy

michael had rested his forehead on top of mine before he collided his lips with mine

we started off with small pecks before he took over and started passionately kissing me

i didn't expect his lips to be this soft nor for him to be a great kisser, this is all happening way to fast and it's really wrong

michael had stopped kissing me and moved his way down to the lower half of my body

he started to unbutton my baggy jeans slowly snapping me back to reality

i can't let him see the mess of a cutting board i've made myself into he'll think i'm a freak i gotta stop him

"michael stop" i spoke up while trying to sit up

he looked at me annoyed like i was ruining everything he planned

"what are you scared of" he smacked his lips while pausing what he was doing

"i'm not scared we just can't we have to stop" i started to pull my jeans back up

he completely ignored me and moved my hands so that he could continue to pull my jeans down

"relax cherry just let it happen we already got this fair" he said while pulling my jeans all the way down

he instantly froze and looked extremely shocked at the sight infront of him

a tear fell down my eye at the fact someone has seen how much of a piece of shit i am on this earth

i looked at michael who had sat up and distanced himself from me

"you better not tell anyone about what we did or i will use this shit against you maybe even worse, i just have to go, see you later i guess" michael stated while grabbing his things and leaving my room

i looked down at my inner thighs while starting to sob at what my parents have done to me, they failed me

i then grabbed the blade off my dresser and started to cut even more..