If Only

A Path To Our Own Forgiveness

"I wish I could hug you" I laughed a little.

Ben did too, "Fuck my back, give me a hug brother".

I hugged Ben, and he hugged me tight. There was a knock at the door. He let go, and I kept standing.

"Come in" Ben spoke.

Ty walked in, "You came here without me?".

I took a second, "I'm not allowed?".

"You can do whatever. I don't care, but at least let me know you're leaving".

I smiled.

"Just talking about my art," Ben handed Ty his book, "I'm frustrated".

Ty smiled once he looked through it, "It looks just fine to me".

"Thanks" Ben spoke sarcastically.

I said nothing.

"Anyway, Aaron was telling me you two were going out tonight" Ben smiled.

Ty nodded, "They put a bunch of fun light up at the park. I'm excited to see how much money they wasted on it".

Ben laughed a little, "I'm sure it's gonna be fine".

"I'm excited for it, believe me. I saw pictures of it online and it looks magical. I just can't  help but wonder how much money they fuckin wasted on that".

I smirked, "Probably a shit ton".

"Exactly" Ty looked at me.

"I say you two go have a fun day together and enjoy each other. It's been a rough time away, and you both deserve it".

Ty took a second, "Thanks, I appreciate it".

Ben looked at his hands, "So I'll see you two later?".

"Definitely," I held my hand out towards Ty, "We should probably go start getting ready for tonight".

Ty grabbed my hand, "That sounds like a good idea".

"Have fun" Ben looked happy as he watched leave.

"See you later" Ty shut the door behind us.

Jess

I sat at the kitchen table quiet. I didn't really know what to do, and I felt conflicted. Every part of me wanted to go with Kyle. Juli is still 11, and Ava is 13. I can't leave them that young. Mom did leave them when they were extremely young, and I guess I could bring them with me.

I just didn't know if I could do it.

Aaron and Ty walked in the house.

"I'll be upstairs" Ty rushed upstairs.

Aaron took a deep breath.

"You got something up too?" I looked at him.

Aaron walked over, "Yeah, I guess".