To wonder morning after morning, who will I be today?
Crippling, that's one word you can use to describe what it is. It's waking up everyday and wondering what it'll be like today, which mode is gonna flick on, like a zippo.
*flick*
Such a weird way to explain it, but it works and it's true. It really is as easy as a simple flick then bam, you're a complete stranger to yourself and more thank likely others, that is if you're unfortunate enough to be around someone when you "split". Splitting is what it's mainly known as, it's difficult to explain so bare with me. The journey of BPD, the unwelcomed journey, unwanted really. It's, well it's hell, warm but cold hell, hell that swallows you in whole and spits you out in pieces. Chunks of you gone out of no where, without you even knowing. One moment you're happy, smiling and laughing then the stare that goes on for who ever knows how long that turns into shutting down, tearing yourself away and locking you right up. You become your own personal prisoner, the fucked up thing though? You cant control it so you just sit there and ask yourself how long this one will last or if it'll bring anxiety with it, like it normally does.
