Desiderium ✓

◍2

"It feels so empty" I mumbled and glanced at the seat beside me.

It was the first time in a while I could feel myself tearing up at the sight. I still couldn't believe everything happened within the time span of a year.

I sighed and opened my sketchbook to draw something random but it was till I heard voices nearing the class.

"Did you do the homework Jungwoo?" Felix asked the other.

"Huh? Homework? We had homework? Why did-" Jungwoo stopped in between when our eyes met.

The atmosphere soon turned into an awkward one. My heart started racing fast.

(A/N : OMG WHY DOES IT SOUND LIKE SUMN BL SHIT TwT no wait what if we make it a Wooho ff, JKJK)

"Oh uh, We'll get detention that's all" Felix laughed nervously and dragged Jungwoo with him breaking the awkward silence.

I sighed and closed my sketch book. The day already started in a bad way, didn't know how it would go later.

"HA HOECHAN" I heard Jungwoo freak out.

"It's Haechan Jungshit" Haechan glared at him.

I completely forgot that this guy existed...maybe I was too busy with my empty life....

I heard his footsteps nearing me, my body stiffened when I felt Haechan's eyes on me yet I couldn't bring myself together to look back at him and greet.

"Move your bag" he said as coldly as ever.

"Oh sorry about that" I apologized and moved my bag so that he could keep his. And after that none of us spoke even a word to each other, like we were complete strangers.

Soon the students started to come in one by one and the class became loud again. But I was too bothered by the cold atmosphere between me and my seatmate.

"Okay everyone settle down on your places, the class will be commencing soon, till then please submit your projects on the table" I announced when the class was almost full.

"AH DID THE CLASS START?!" Ryujin rushed inside and I shook my head softly making her heave a sigh of relief.

"God I thought I am late again" she mumbled.

It would be an understatement if I say I was surprised by her casual behaviour towards me, I was literally shocked. She was probably the only one who didn't give me awkward looks unlike the others.

-

The only thing I could think of about throughout the whole first half was whether I should approach them or no as guilt took over me.

"I can't do this, they're my friends..." I whispered to myself and continued playing with my pen already assuming they were mad at me.

"Minho? You aren't coming?" Ryujin nudged me all of a sudden.

"Oh huh? Me?" I looked up to see that the class was empty except some of the students who were grabbing their books.

"Hey what's up with you?" Ryujin asked sitting beside me.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" I asked her softly still looking down at my hands.

"Mad at you? For what?" I couldn't tell if it was fake or no but she genuinely sounded surprised.

"For being stupid? I mean others are probably mad at me too-" I answered looking at her.

"What...nobody's mad at you, what are you saying...yeah they're just a bit disappointed but not mad" she rolled her eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"One thousand percent...wait, does that mean, you didn't talk to us because you thought we were mad at you?" she asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah...I feel guilty, I shouldn't have acted like an immatured kid with Suyoung considering the fact that it was the last time we met" I said as I felt the stinging pain in my heart again.

"I understand you...but we can't do anything now, maybe we can wait for her" she replied and sighed.

Ryujin was right, even feeling guilty would not bring her back to us now...

"AYE BITCH YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS FINDING YOU- oh sorry for disturbing" Felix apologized softly for interrupting our conversation.

"Huh? She didn't pick my calls yesterday, what does she need now" Ryujin rolled her eyes and stomped out of the classroom. I could tell she was really annoyed...

"Hi Minho..." Felix greeted and walked towards me. It didn't even take a second for me to react. I knew it was a 'now or never' situation, perfect time to apologize!

"Listen Lix I'm really sorry for everything, I really am" I said before he could say anything else. Felix gave me a confused look, who wouldn't be surprised if something like that comes out all of a sudden.

"Hey calm down, first tell me what's wrong with you, we didn't hear from you for months-" Felix asked.

"I don't know...I feel guilty, I'm getting hurt because of my own mistake, I never knew things would turn out this way, I feel damn horrible" I sighed heavily.

"It's not your fault! We all got into this together! And it was all of our stupid ideas" he frowned.

"You know I miss her..? And I hate myself because I had hurt her, I wonder if we even made any good memories together" I clenched my fists thinking how much hurt she must've felt that time.

"The way you reacted that time, was very obvious, anybody would've reacted that way, it's not your fault Minho, we all know you didn't mean it" Felix said and hugged me softly.

Not gonna lie, I was startled at the sudden display of affection when he did that, "Then why did y'all give me weird looks in the morning-" I asked hugging him back.

"That...? Oh that's because Jungwoo was mad since you didn't try to talk it out with us, and probably Haechan and Yeji too for the same reason, we wanted you to share everything with us so that we can help you out" he said and smiled.

I didn't think it that way, they might have been worried about me. I indeed was a stupid kid...

After a moment of silence I spoke again...

"Felix do you think she will forgive me?"

"She waited for you even on the day she left, don't worry Suyoung never took your words the other way"