delicate; b.barnes

[26:] old habits die hard.

And what about the things she might remember? He's experienced the nightmares, the terror, the haunted memories of what Hydra did to him. It would kill him to know that she was going through the same thing.

And for how long? Hell, he'd been gone for five years. How long could she have been in pain for and he wasn't there to help her? How long was he not able to protect the one thing in this world he held dear?

"Bucky, I can see the wheels in your head turning, what-"

What if they hurt her? What if they hurt her because of him? If she was in danger just for knowing him? The nerves were piling up. The guilt was piling up. He felt like a coil- tightening and tightening with the overwhelming panicked tension.

"I have to go."

He grabbed his jacket and scrambled out the door.

"What? You're leaving? Buck-"

"I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

He left Sam alone in the room.

—

Bucky walked sporadically down the sidewalk. He didn't make a conscious decision to go somewhere specific, but on some level he knew where he would end up. So predictable.

Yet so afraid. There was only one person who could calm him in the midst of his fear - who could calm him in any state really.

He had no idea how she would react, and that did make him even more anxious. But he needed it. He needed her.

For the third time this week, Bucky found himself outside her door. There was no hesitation before he knocked.

"Oh," she was surprised. "Hi. I texted you earlier. Did I miss something? What's... going on?"

She was caught off guard, but immediately concerned. She wasn't sure how, but she could tell something was wrong. And she wasn't sure why, but it worried her more than it probably should have.

"I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean to just show up. I'm sorry, I didn't- I didn't know where else to go."

Suddenly, she was overcome with an urge to just protect. Make it better.

"It's okay," her voice was soft. "It's alright. Here, come in, come in."

She ushered him inside, ignoring the flutter that slivered up her arm when her hand grazed against his back.

"You can come sit down," she guided him to the couch. "Do you want any tea or water or anything?"

"No," he rubbed the back of his neck. "No, it's okay."

He looked up and saw her sitting right across from him, looking into him with worry. He's definitely seen that expression on her before, specifically looking at him. He could feel himself mellow out a little, just looking at her.

"Did something happen?" she asked. "You seem a little shaken."

Did anything really happen? He basically just thought himself into a panic. It's not like there was some catastrophe.