Should've slept alone (Damon Albarn)

Chapter Five

Charlotte wasn't sure what to say next, in fact she wasn't sure how Damon couldn't get what she was hinting at. She thought it was the most obvious thing in the world yet, his look of anticipation told her otherwise.

"It's just, well it's just erm" She stuttered out, the words feeling like poison in her mouth. She was thinking them, they were right on the top of her tongue yet, she just couldn't vocalise them.

Thankfully, she didn't have to. A high-pitched scream from Freddie stopped her in her tracks. She smiled in mock-frustration at Damon, before reaching forward, undoing the straps and holding him in her arms.

Freddie cuddled into his mother's chest, his blue eyes looking curiously up at Damon. It didn't take long for Damon to manage to turn Freddie's cries into laughter by pulling the most ridiculous faces at him.

"What were you going to say?" Damon prompted after Freddie seemed content just sat watching the world go by "About his dad?"

"Dada?" Freddie questioned excitedly, causing Damon to laugh lightly. Charlotte looked between the two boys, hoping more than anything that Damon could read the look she was giving him.

"Freddie's Dad, it's erm, well it's you" She said quietly, keeping her gaze interlocked with him as waited for him to realise what she'd said "You're Freddie's dad"

Damon's furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at Charlotte, processing what she had just said to him. He looked at Freddie before looking back at her, he couldn't possibly be his son.

"I slept with you after a blur gig back in 93" She said quietly, she didn't know what to say to him but anything was better than the silence coming from him "I did try to get into contact when I found out I was pregnant"

Damon shook his head in disbelief, his gaze darting between the two people in front of him before he practically jumped up from where he was sat.

"I need to go" He muttered, his voice indifferent as he turned on his heel and walked as fast as he could away from them both.

The next month passed tediously slow, Freddie pined after Damon every single day and nothing Charlotte said or did was enough for him. Charlotte heard nothing from Damon, she wasn't sure why she felt hurt by his silence, was she really expecting him to just drop everything and suddenly become a dad? The only thing that seemed to change was the frequency of which he appeared in the headlines, it felt like every day there was a new photo of Damon falling into a cab making another scandalous, drunken accusation.

It might have been Christmas Eve but that didn't make it any different an evening for Charlotte. She tried to breath out the nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach, at least she knew for sure that Damon wanted nothing to do with Freddie, instead of always wondering. A sudden knock at the door made her stomach drop, she wasn't expecting anyone and nobody even knew where she lived , so she cautiously approached the door with a feeling of dread flowing through her veins.

The dread disappeared into nausea again when her eyes landed upon Damon, a Santa hat on his head and a lopsided, yet sheepish smile, on his face.

"Merry Christmas darling" He mumbled, his blue eyes meeting hers "Can I come in? I think we need to talk"

The last thing Charlotte wanted to do was invite him into her mould-ridden flat, but she knew that she didn't really have much of a choice. He followed behind her, she could already picture the look of disgust on his face and to try and avoid the hurt, she tried to not look at him until they were both sat down on the threadbare sofa.

"I'm really sorry" He said quietly, a hand reaching out to gently squeeze hers "Really, really sorry"

"You don't need to apologise Damon, I shouldn't have sprung it on you like that" She breathed, wanting more than anything to pull her hand away from his, but she just couldn't do it "I don't expect you to be his Dad Damon, I just didn't want to keep it a secret from you when you were getting on so well with him"

"No, no, no" He disagreed, shaking his head fiercely "I want to be his dad"

"Really Damon? I wouldn't think any less of you" Whilst Freddie had been worth it, giving up your life at such a young age was a big ask of someone.

"I really want to, I felt different when I was with him, it felt normal and it felt completely natural" He brought his head up so that he was looking at Charlotte again "And that's got to count for something, right?"

"Why do you believe me?" She asked him sharply, whilst he was saying everything she wanted to hear, she still found it strange that he was accepting that a strangers child was his.

He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up before shrugging his shoulders, a boyish smile on his face as their eyes met again.

"Graham thinks you're telling the truth and I trust him" He said simply, pouting his lips out before shrugging his shoulders again "Are you lying to me?"

"No!" She exclaimed instantly an, almost, offended look on her face as she shook her head.

"Then I trust you" He concluded, a squeeze of Charlotte's hand finalising his words "Besides, don't you find it strange how we're just suddenly in each others lives. It's almost like fate, don't you think?"

"Well fate's certainly one word for it" She laughed, shaking her head as she spoke but she couldn't help but agree with him "But I do know what you mean, it's like it was meant to be"

They sat in silence, Damon's hand still holding onto Charlotte's as he absentmindedly looked around the room, before his eyes settled on her again.

"Come to Devon with me"

"Sorry?" She scoffed at his request, he was certainly full of surprises tonight.

"I've got a house in Devon and a car waiting outside, the three of us can spend Christmas and new year there" He looked apprehensively at Charlotte to try and gage her reaction "I want to get to know you both away from the stress of London, Christmas is a time for family and you're my family now"

Charlotte found herself practically gushing with excitement as she nodded her head, she knew how many problems were bound to occur, but for that moment, she didn't care. Freddie was finally going to have his dad in his life and she couldn't wait.