Laal Ishq

Silence and slashed

(Posted after ages...hope I can make up with angst)

"Can you live with the guilt of being called a homewrecker?"

Yet again it felt like a sharp object slashing her wrist, no matter how many times she relived that day the wound seemed to be fresh as if it happened just today. Zoya scrunched her eyes tightly for she did not want to hear that woman's voice replaying in her head, for it brought back horrible memories of hope being crushed, love being trampled, trust being broken and above all that humiliated and hurt face of her father in front of so many people. 

She was startled by the sharp knock on the door although it was wide open and Zoya for the first time thanked the stars for the person's towering figure intruding her deep thoughts.

'How is your wound, did you take your medicine?'

Sahir's cold and deep voice devoid of emotions dominated the entire room. She hurriedly wiped her tears with her dupatta and nodded a slight 'yes' without facing him entirely.

'I need some fresh air so if you could excuse me,'

Zoya said in a low voice, she closed her eyes when she felt his palms on the wall right next to her. How on earth did she expect Sahir Azeem Choudhary to give her space when she needed it, the little that she got to know him in the last few days he was insensitivity personified.

"If it's hurting you need to tell me dammit, or if you are scared just let me know but don't hide your pain from me Zoya."

Sahir could smell her fear, her agitation as he closed his eyes, his hot breath blowing on top of her head, his huge body completely towering her fragile frame. Why did she do this to him every time, he wondered being more annoyed then ever, pushing him to the edge and ever since that attack on her all Sahir wanted was to protect her. Even more than hunting down the culprit, he wanted to hold her tightly in his embrace and that thought pushed him to madness for Sahir Azeem Choudhary could not afford to turn soft and weak for anyone especially for a woman who had entered into an agreement of false engagement with him. 

'Humein patah tha ki humein kya sab jhelna padega as your so called fiancé so it's okay.'

Her cold reply triggered him more,

"taaney maar rahin ho?"

Zoya closed her eyes hearing his dark and dangerous voice, she shivered and was physically and mentally too exhausted  to ponder upon why her knees went weak every time his husky voice reached her ears. Zoya had paid a huge price for loving and trusting someone in the past, she was still nursing a broken heart and here there was Sahir armoured with all weapons to crush her already fragile soul. She did not want to argue further, she was tired and a part of her also knew he felt guilty for putting her life in danger because of their engagement show but Zoya also knew Sahir had strange ways of expressing himself. 

'Aap sunna kya chahtein hain? Nahin...I am ready to speak whatever you want to hear Nawab Sahab. But for now I just want to be with my abbu because he is so scared right now.'

Zoya spitted out all her frustration, at this stage she hardly cared about how she narrowly escaped death because while trying to ease her father's difficulties she had ended up making her loved ones more worried. For a flicker of second Zoya saw hurt in those fierce dark eyes but it went away so fast that she wondered if she was imagining, the fact that bullet was meant for him made her realise how rude and insensitive she was acting when it came to him. 

'Listen I'm sorry for raising my voice, I know whatever happened yesterday it's not your fault in fact aap ko khud ka khayal rakhna chahiye.'

"You don't need to worry about me,"

he cut her sharply making her jolt a little away from him. Sahir could tolerate rounds of bullets piercing his body but not that soft concerned voice of Zoya Siddiqui. Even if it was a mild courtesy and nothing more he could not stand it. 

She did not utter another word for although she was in that space in her life when many things were unclear and uncertain, taming or nursing a rich and powerful grown up man's bloated ego was definitely not her priority. They both stood there so close that each could feel other's hot breath some unknown force not letting them move away even an inch. 

After what felt like ages, Zoya could feel him inching closer to her, why could not she utter a word she did not know as she moved backward until her back hit the cold wall. When their eyes met her nervous pleading eyes suddenly took him back to that fatal night when they met for the first time. The night that took everything away from him, that night changed him forever. Zoya felt a gentle but firm grip on her bandaged wrist, his eyes were closed with heavy breathing, jaws tensed and veins showing on his forehead. She suddenly became worried instead of being scared or angry at him encroaching her personal space.

'Sahir aap thik hain, kya hua? Humari taraf dekhiye.'

She whimpered agitatedly, before she could register her other hand touched his neck, her soft hands running through his jaws caused a soothing effect making him come out of the past trauma. In no time he snaked his forearms around her waist crushing her soft frame to his hard chest making her breath hitch. 

"Uss raat kitni baat kar rahi thi aur aaj kal  chup chaap si raheti ho. Kahan gayi woh bachpan wali Zoya hmm?"

Zoya did not even pull her wrist back as he continued caressing it with his lips, nor was she surprised at how the cold and distant Sahir Azeem Choudhary casually recalled their childhood encounter for his question had baffled her. Yes, she was no more that little Zoya who had bandaged his wounds, a stranger came by and crushed that innocence forever. After ages she wanted to cry out loud, not the silent stifles in the loneliness of her bedroom at night. But she gathered herself and suppressed her tears while resting her forehead on his hard chest. He on the other hand inhaled her fragrance greedily for the first time in all these years that nightmarish trauma and peace strangely coexisted. He wanted more so he slid his head to her long neck rubbing his nose eagerly. Both their heads were messed up because of their personal griefs and instead of pushing him away she clasped his shirt collar tighter. The sharp knock on the door startled them both, she pushed away immediately.

"Investigating officers are here for some questioning, please come down."

Kabir had turned his back and immediately left the place after the short information.

Sahir tried to say something but Zoya stopped him with the gesture of her hand, the disappointment and hurt was evident in her eyes. When he left the room she sat on the floor with her palms tightly covering her face, everything was blurry and when she heard her best friend Pooja and cousin sister Noor entering the room she flung her arms around Pooja and broke down. 

"It's okay baby, calm down. Agar abhi police se nahi milni hai toh it's okay koi aur din bula lenge."

 Pooja assured her while Noor caressed her back and hair. 

'Nahin humein yeh kar na hoga, it must be important for the Choudhary's after all this is their issue.'

Sahir stood at the door listening to the conversation from the door and promised himself that he will rip apart that coward who tried to harm her even though unintentionally for he like everyone else assumed himself to be the real target.

(How was the angst? Please do give your feedbacks.)