afraid (zalex )

Not Lust, Just Envy

" Hannah can I maybe tell you something thats been on my mind a lot lately? " zach said looking up at her, anxiety and anticipation building up . they were sprawled out on her bedroom floor each with a book in hand and A pile beside both of  them ." what is it zach" she smiled and tilted her head to bring him into her sight curiously " promise you won't tell anyone? Because if anyone finds out , I'm screwed" he said softly as he childishly held out his left pinkie finger to her which she locked into place in his . " I promise" she said and zach sat up fiddling with his hands a nervous tic that he had developed over time but worsened when his dad died. " I think I might like guys, well a guy  but like as more than friends" he spoke soft and afraid of her reaction but all he got was silence for a moment , painful breathtaking silence .

"Zach ,Zach wake up ,wake your ass up" Alex said hitting him with one of his crutches causing Zach to sit up rapidly and panting " you ass you scared me " zach groaned  trying to cath his breath holding his hand on his chest and Alex just chuckled at the now fully awake guy  " well then get up and get dressed, I'll be downstairs ,your mom just left for work. " alex said and disappeared Through the doorway to probably hang out with Zachs little sister,may and thats when Zach felt it again or at least let the feeling get strong . Zach's heart fluttered ,when people say they felt butterflies ,he knew that that is exactly what they are talking about. And it happens when he's around Standall. For a moment he forgot about life, about her death and Alex's attempt , about jeffs death ,the trials ,and just life in general it was nice,one of his favorite feelings . Soon everything came rushing back to his head all at once causing him to lay back down with a groan.back to reality now o guess   Another groan escaped his lips when he got a ding from his phone he sat up again and checked what the Notification was.

Text from
Alex ✌🏼: I swear you better not be laying back down. I may be broken but I can still beat your ass with one my crutches.

He smiled and bit his lip getting up and stretching,softly grunting as he felt his back pop a little  . today would be awful like most days at liberty high  but seeing Alex ,would most definitely make him feel better , why? well because they are Best friends I mean why else ? After all he couldn't be gay. I mean he liked girls ...but guys are kinda cool he liked how guys chests looked but maybe he just wants his to look like that. Yea that has to be it .  not lust just envy.

After half an hour of gathering clothes and brushing hair to get ready for the day ,zach jogged downstairs grabbing a slice of buttered toast off of mays plate and his monster energy drink from the fridge." Hey, I was gonna eat that ! You're such an ass !" May sassed  and hit his arm " sorry little kiddo , I got hungry and it looked tasty " he said and took another bite grinning as he turned to face  Alex "ready to go? " he asked ignoring mays groans about how shes not a child anymore alex nodded and got up and followed zach slowly" tiffanys mom is on her way to pick you up,be ready and take your keys and lock the door" he said and walked out of the kitchen with lex and headed to the car

" I noticed you didnt eat  breakfast this morning .is your stomach acting up again?" Zach asked ,worry present in his voice " yea I'm okay , it will feel better later I just need to not stress too much, I took my pills this morning so I'm good for the day  " he said shrugging it off as if it was nothing. Zach hated when he did that it just caused more worry on zachs part but as always he tried not to worry...key word tried .

First period was awful for them both . Alex had a big test which was most definitely the main reason that his stomach hurt, it was always caused by anxiety  , Alex's biggest enemy besides Bryce ,who was everyones enemy but thats a different story for a different time which most people already know I mean it was on TV. Alex was smart enough to pass the test with ease but the fear of failing was what caused him to worry ,but there was one person who could always cheer him up so he kept that person on his mind,soothing him enough to take his text .letting them take over ,hearing  their voice " Go Alex ! You got this ,make this test your bitch" that sentence was enough to calm him and clear his head of the distress. So I guess it didn't end badly For Alex it just started off rough.

Zach on the other hand had a free class first. He spent about half of it in the grass under a tree trying to finish some math homework but all he could think about is if he did like boys so he looked up sexualities to get an idea ."bisexual, demi sexual ,omnisexual ,Asexual ," all the terms spun in his head along with what everyone would say .but the one that was most clear was Bryce walker "little zachy is finally going to admit that he's fucking gay" and in his head he could hear the guys all laughing and mocking him , thats when he felt the tears. "There is absolutely no fucking way he's gay .or bisexual or whatever .he was straight, yea straight. The boys would be okay with that. So he wiped his eyes and got up walking to the basketball court in the gym shutting out all the thoughts ,shutting out; sexuality, Alex's stomach, the boys but mainly Bryce and monty because he is straight.