Fun on the News; among other things

The Very Busy Fire Brigade

I came up with this idea from reading a humorous meme on Facebook way too many times, so I had to write something.



No one knows why people's pants literally started catching on fire every time they told the slightest fib, but it made for a very exciting television and maybe not so exciting consequences for the person involved.

Needless to say, the fire department was very busy. Major businesses had taken to employing small groups of firefighters to follow behind certain people (you know the type) and spray them down with fire extinguishers. Most people learned to live for this except for those in power, which seemed to scoff and turn up their noses at the idea despite evidence to the contrary.

None of this was more prevalent than in Washington where small groups of firefighters were kept busy around the clock every time a politician went anywhere. It didn't matter the party or affiliation everywhere politicians' pants were constantly bursting into flame. This also made voting easier because you always knew who was being truthful and who wasn't.

"Please don't send the brigade again." One irritated politician sighed before his latest speech.

"Are you sure sir?" A security detail asked looking worried, "it comes highly recommended."

"I'm positive!" The politician in question snapped afterwards he would straighten his lapels, and comb his close cropped hair. "Besides, I can handle myself."

Needless to say said politician would be very sorry later if he had to be doused by the closest pitcher of water or if the fire department had to be called and he was out a pair of trousers.

This was also used to great effect within the judicial system itself. Corrupt judges were weeded out and small groups of firefighters followed around criminals every time they spoke to law enforcement; it was more efficient because there were usually quicker confessions.

Smart people tried to avoid this in court itself, because who wanted to get charged with perjury, and well, the results spoke for themselves.

This author would appreciate such a world because it would save me the irritation of trying to explain to other parties why one politician was better than another and who was clearly crooked. Mostly, it would probably save my parents a good deal of angst because of politics and the media because we would always know who was telling the truth.