Pipers POV.
This morning was rough. Not only did I have the worst headache ever, but I was still really guilty about what I did. Alex will be brought back in here, all because of me. Why the hell did I think this was a good idea? Alex is never, ever going to forgive me.
I walked into the showers, seeing the usual gang of Christian meth heads "praising The Lord", in the showers, weird I know. I felt the hot water burning into my skin, it was way too hot, but I didn't care about the pain. I deserved all of it. Nothing is ever going to be the way it was, I have lost the love of my life.
"Yo Chapman? You alright?" Nicky asked, sticking her head around the curtain.
"No Nicky, no I'm not." I replied, walking out of the shower pushing past her.
Of course Nicky wanted answers so she followed behind.
"Look Nicky. I've done something pretty fucked up okay?" I said as I came to a halt and turned to her.
"Alright alright, well when your ready, talk to me okay Chapman? You coming for breakfast?"
"Yeah just let me dry up and get changed first" I said to Nicky with a slight smile.
Although Nicky can be an annoying little shit at times, I love her, she's really helped me through a lot in here.
Same old thing, waffles and a pile of, well I don't even know what it is.
I take a seat with Nicky and Morello.
"You okay Piper, your looking kind of down sweetie?" Morello asked taking my hand in hers.
I couldn't help but burst into tears. What I did was absolutely killing me, I couldn't handle it, so I spilled, everything.
Nicky and Morello looked at me like I was talking in a foreign language.
"You what?" Nicky said in shock.
She then stood up, rubbing her head and trying to figure it all out.
"Nicky, I know, I regret it, I'm so-"
"You know what Chapman? You, are seriously fucked up. How could you do this?! Alex is one of my best friends and yeah, she's fucked up too but she had her life back, how could you do this to her?!"
Without any time for me to reply, she stormed of shaking her head.
Great, another person, gone.
Morello looked at me, struggling to come up with the right words.
"Piper, hunny. Why did you do this?" She said with sympathetic eyes.
"Because Morello, I love her and...I had nobody left. She was going to leave the state and I didn't want her to leave me. I know, it's so selfish and I will never forgive myself but what am I supposed to do when she comes back in?" I put my head in my hands and sighed.
"I don't know Piper, I really don't know. But I'll be here for you, I can't imagine what it would be like if I lost Nicky." Morello said rubbing her hand on my shoulder.
I smiled, although I didn't really mean it.
"You want to come and watch TV? I heard animal planet is on, again." She said with a giggle.
This made me laugh, animal planet is on all the time since Taystee got the remote again.
Walking towards the TV room with Morello by my side, I start to feel bad. For Nicky and for Alex. When did I get like this? I have been so selfish. I'm really surprised Morello is even talking to me.
David Attenborough's voice was making me feel asleep watching an animal documentary. My head was slowly falling back on the chair when it shot up after hearing that familiar voice. I turned my head around to see Morello was fast asleep on her chair, and through the window I saw Nicky run up to somebody, I couldn't see who it was.
"Vause!" Nicky shouted.
I heard Alex giggle.
Oh shit.
I froze on my chair, I couldn't move. Where the hell was I supposed to go? I couldn't exactly sneak out without them seeing me.
I squeezed my eyes shut and crossed my fingers hoping they would walk in the opposite direction. Opening my eyes slowly, I saw them walking away towards the bunks. Her gorgeous black hair fell gently on her shoulders. Oh I do miss her so much. All I wanted to do was run up to her and wrap my arms around her, but I can't really do that can I?
"Morello....hey Morello" I said shaking her shoulder softly.
She grumbled but eventually woke up.
"I fell asleep? Ha, must have been that guys voice" Morello said, rubbing her eyes.
"Ha, yeah. Morello, Alex is back." I said with a 'help me' look on my face.
"Piper, you're going to have to say something to her sooner or later chick."
"I know I know, but not right now, I'm not ready for it."
"Well, it's getting late. I'm going to find Nicky. You go get some sleep okay Piper? You've been really stressed."
Morello said giving me a hug.
"Yeah okay. Goodnight." I said.
Dragging my feet along the floor, I eventually reached my bunk and dropped onto my bed.
All I could think about was Alex, everything we did together.
(Flashback)
"Come one Piper, get in!" Alex said pulling me into the rubber dingy laughing.
"Alex I'm really scared, I've never been on a water slide before."
"Oh come on, you have?"
"No seriously I haven't" I giggled.
"Well trust me, you will be absolutely fine, hold my hand if you must." Alex said raising her eyebrow and holding out her hand.
I grabbed it and then we were pushed down the water slide and into darkness. Poor Alex, I'm surprised she wasn't deaf from all the screaming.
We eventually got to the bottom and plunged into the water. I grabbed hold of Alex and we made our way to the top of the water.
"Wow that was fun! How was it?" Alex said excitedly.
"That was really good!"
I looked into her gorgeous green eyes. God she is so perfect, her raven hair was pinned up in a loose ponytail and her swimming costume showed all of her curves. Wow.
She placed a kiss on my lips and grabbed my hand.
"Let's go on that big bowl slide" she said.
I just nodded my head, I wasn't paying any attention to what she was saying, I just stared at her.
"I love you"
"I love you too Piper...now come on!" Alex said pulling me through the water.
(End of flashback)
I woke up with a start. I looked over to my alarm clock and it was 2 am, and I needed to pee.
Walking towards the toilets I was being a little nosey and peered into everyones cube. Then I saw her. She lay on her bed with her arm across her chest and her black hair surrounding her head. I couldn't help but walk into her cube and just, well, look at her.
I brushed my hand over the blanket on top of her.
"I'm so sorry Alex" I whispered quietly even though she was asleep.
As I slowly walked away I heard a raspy voice behind me.
"Piper?" Alex said sitting up and putting her glasses on.
"Alex-"
"What are you doing? It's 2 am?" Alex said with a confused look on her face.
"I was just going to the toilet and I uh..just..I need to pee."
I quickly walked off towards the toilet, my heart beating a million times faster then usual.
Alex got up and followed behind.
I felt her take hold of my wrist and she pulled me around.
"Piper we need to talk."
"Alex, I just...I can't do this right now...I'm sorry"
I released my self and sped of to the toilets.
