CERTIFIED MIND BLOWER →alex turner←

II.

"What is up with your coffee today, ladies?"

"You know him?"

"You bet we do! We were at them Arctic Monkeys gigs down in The Boardwalk every single time! Those were times, eh?" Frank turns to Mary.

"I remember you saying it but you haven't mentioned you knew them?"

"Haven't we?"

"Nope."

"Well we do know the guys. We got free passes from them." Mary smirks. "Andy is my cousin so I was one of their exclusive groupies!"

How cool is that.

"Why haven't you told meee?" I ask almost offended. They know how crazy about Arctic Monkeys I am.

(I told them the very first day I started babysitting their children. One has to answer the question 'Why did you move to Sheffield?' and apparently I was more honest at this point than necessary.)

The Smiths exchange a puzzled look.

"You haven't... asked?" Mary half asks half answers not sure what I want to hear.

"Well it hasn't even came to my mind! How cool that must've been, seeing them rise!"

"It's been great, I can say that." Frank nods.

"We have to see Alex!" Mary exclaims. "Peta." She looks into my eyes. "We. Will. Introduce. You!!!" She squeaks and shows a great deal of excitement by clapping her hands which makes both her children pretty confused.

"No no please don't." I cover my face with my both hands.

"What? Why?"

"I don't want to... Embarrass myself." I say slowly. "Besides... We have met already." And more than once. Thinking about it makes me rather uncomfortable.

"But we have to ask him for dinner or summat!" Mary looks at Frank.

"And sure we will. There's a lot of catching up to do." He nods. "Peta?"

I squeak. "I wanna come but..."

"We will ring you then alright?"

"But... Ewwww..."

"If he's coming, so are you. And if he isn't... Well you are anyway. Tomorrow." Franks smiles and Mary nods.

God help me.

Now I have little above twenty four hours to get some plastic done... And have my brain transplanted. That sounds just manageable.

A few hours after I get home and turn it into hell of a mess attempting to find something to wear tomorrow, my phone starts ringing. It's Mary.

"I guess I should say I am sorry here... So I'm sorry but Alex is coming, there is no shaking him off now." I can hear her repressed chuckles.

"Oh Mary I'm so gonna embarrass myself."

"Don't worry child, it's not a date or something."

"You wish."

"You know that I really do?"

"What?"

"I am serious. How cool would that be!"

"Shut up Mary or you won't see my face nearer than in five mile radius from your apartment ever again." I hang up laughing.

The next evening I get to the apartment building where both Smiths and Alex live. I ring the bell and at the second the intercom goes on, I can hear men voices in background chatting and chuckling. I reconsider running away and staying home for the millionth time since I left my flat. Mary's voice makes the alarm inside my head stop for a second and then start beeping even louder.