How Not to Fall In Love

Bringing you home was lovely

They looked so different from yesterday, laying there in their own cribs. They looked so completely different, and it felt different having them home. It was a good different. I liked it.

Liv and I had formed this sort of team, working in shifts and such to take care of our new additions. I didn't mind my shift at all, but sometimes getting up at the ass crack of dawn to roll a baby over because he somehow flipped himself over and couldn't get back on his back and was screaming bloody murder was a hassle. Nevertheless I was in love with the little guys.

Tonight was a night of terror though. Liv was working and it was just me alone with the babies. They had already been home for a month so Liv had went back to work and I've been chilling at home with my small dudes.

"You guys are killing me." I huffed, running back and forth trying to calm the little boys down. It was their first night without their mother and I guess they didn't like that.

"Ugh what am I doing?" I cried, shoving my face in my hands, trying not to bawl in frustration.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and looked for someone to call, just to sit with me and help. Hell even just to talk to they didn't have to lift a finger.

"Hey what's up?" Mark asked through the phone.

"Hey, what're you up to?" I asked, trying to hide my tears.

"Nothing man, do you need anything?"

I didn't want to come out and say it, but I'm so tired.

"Yeah Uh, can you and Kaitlyn maybe... come over. I know it's late but fuck this is so hard." I sighed, not wanting to admit I needed the help.

"Yeah, yeah for sure. I know Kaity's been wanting to meet her brothers. We'll be over in a few." I could hear Mark's smile from the other line.

"Thank you." I said weakly.

:::::

"Hey, Hanyu we're here!" Mark walked through the door, Kaitlyn sleeping in her father's arms.

"Hey." I said tiredly, looking up at the boy at my front door.

The time between our talk on the phone and him getting here was used to finally put the boys down to sleep.

"Poor guy, newborns are the worst," Mark laughed, laying Kaitlyn down on the couch.

"Daddy," she whined, waking up and grabbing for her father. My heart melted and all of the sudden I couldn't wait for them to talk to me and tell me what they were thinking.

"Sorry baby girl," he huffed before sitting next to me with the girl on his lap.

"Well how're you doing?" He asked.

"I'm tired, but I love them so it's all worth it."

"Yeah it is. Babies are always worth it." He smiled, petting Kaitlyn's head of black hair.

I think I want to be like Mark. In a sense that he loved Kaity like nothing else mattered in the world. I wanted to be a good dad like him.